Dear Pain in the Rear,
Our association so far has been fruitful but I'm afraid that we both need to make some extra effort to realize its optimum potential. Fr that reason, please find attached a 2 ft, oak wood stick, designed specially to relieve you of your itch in the rear by simply inserting it through the said part. I'm sure u will find much comfort in doing so. And the knowledge of you having followed my advice will give me immense pleasure. Hence, in our mutual interest I sincerely request u to try it once. Looking forward to your response
Yours truly
,!,,
