Thursday 31 December 2009

Mob

Kannada actor Vishnu died yesterday. Apparently he was a legend here, next only to 'eeef you come today' Rajkumar. Realising the situation could be dangerous, Most offices remained closed and hence I got an unexpected holiday. Turns out, those fears were not baseless; his fans, who apparently had nothing better to do, torched a few vehicles. Now I don't believe in spirits but even those who do would agree that Yama did not come to take him in any of those vehicles.

This incident highlights our low levels of tolerance for anything and everything. A recent survey put us 2nd behind Iran on religious intolerance. I fear we would even beat Iran if we just talk about intolerance. Vishnu died, let off the steam with some charred vehicles. Rajkumar dies, kill 5 more. India cricket team lose a match, demolish their homes.

One could even comprehend (not support) the fury and angst over bigger issues like religion, reservation or a separate state but such chaos over a natural death is beyond imagination. The most frustrating thing is that these people always get away with it. Be it the Hindus in Gujarat, Gujjars in Rajasthan, Telangana supporters in Andhra or even yesterday's mob. The law keepers are all to happy to sweep it under the carpet.

It is infuriating to watch civilised people trample law and order like that. Perhaps we deserve an alive Afzal Guru, a '6-months sentenced' SPS Rathore and a remorseless Kasab. We perhaps also deserve the shame of not being able to try Hadlee or hang Abu Salem.

I hope things change and change soon.

Happy new year

Narcissist Narmad

Random Guy: What does 'Jai Ho' mean?

Achaar: Long live the revolution


Wednesday 9 December 2009

10 Ways to have your way in India

1. Become Rich - Apart from making decisions effecting millions of lives, you can buy an IPL team and actually tell Sehwag how to play.

2. Be with a silver spoon born - This works great if you have billing issues with your mobile company. Just open one of your own. And if you are now getting the bills from your own company, you can do the following: spar over it with your brother so loud that neighbors hear everything. In the ensuing division of toys keep this one and then send the bill to your brother, just to teach him a lesson.

3. Become a movie (super) star - You can date the hottest of 'em, get away with hunting deer, running over people, doing shows for, politely put, questionable people and advertsing for Arindam Choudhary.
Caution : 'Super' is important; Shiney Ahuja is discovering that the hard way.

4. Be a star-son: You can start an acting career whenever you've run out of things to do or you can even marry a Miss World.

5. Become a cricketer: You can get a car imported without paying any duty or you can run for assembly elections. Just make sure people have forgotten about the irrelevant stuff like match-fixing or homicide charges. And blimey- You might even develop the guts to put India before Maharashtra despite being a Marathi living in Bombay... OMG...I'm terribly sorry.. It's Mumbai

6. Become a cricketer's son: Oops... This just came out with the flow. Not much good here, unless Rohan Gavaskar's lifestyle inspires you.

6. Become a gangster: This way, you can prepare the ground to become a politician, the benifits of which are described next.

7. Become a politician: Do I really need to explain this? You can also go down in history books as the one who reserved 27% of govt. seats to the disadvantaged, hence making the upper-caste born rue their lineage - an activity reserved for the reserved category before reservations came in to picture.

8. Become a politician's son: Apart from the obvious advantages of becoming a politician yourself, you can get away with doing cocaine and making headlines about it.

9. Declare yourself a Godman: You can claim others' land, indulge in nefariously sleazy activities and sit on a tiger's skin atop golden throne, while claiming to have renounced materialistic pleasures.

10.Fast-unto-death: This one is serious. Gandhi set a wrong precedent. In the first place, one man's principles cannot be more important than a nation's needs. And in today's world, with blind ambitions replacing principles, this is turning dangerous. One man can now ignite the whole of Andhra Pradesh.

Ways you might be tempted to take but shouldn't

11. Replace Manmohan Singh or YSR: They are at high and mighty positions but while the Reddy brothers have reined in YSR, MMS has been dutifully reporting to 'Madamji' since taking charge of India.

Bizarre Bihanis

Me(in a lot of pain): My wisdom tooth is erupting

Dad: YES!!! Thank God. I had given up hopes on you.

Saturday 5 December 2009

Such People Do Exist

This post is a bout a girl named Palak Muchhal. I heard of her for the 1st time when I was in Kota and she performed their. A sensational singer already, she was all of 12 years then. With time, I forgot about her, only to be reminded of her a few days later on my trip to Nagpur. My uncles had attended her performance just a day back and just could not stop talking about her. About her voice, her behaviour, her polite manner and the ever-visible smile on her face. But most of all, for her deeds.

Apart from accommodation and travel expenses, this girl charges a minimum of Rs. 50,000 per show and has erformed in Dubai and Singapore too. In Nagpur, I'm told, she collected Rs. 21 Lakhs. This is the amount donated by the 400-500 people present their. Apart from the obvious inferences about the gathering being of Big, fat-rich people, it perhaps indicates the cause she works for.

All the proceeds from her shows go in the treatment of children needing a heart surgery but whose parents cannot afford it. Since each surgery costs Rs. 50,000, hence the minimum amount. All she gets is a doll for each of the life saved. So far she has received 234 dolls and she is not even 18 yet. So if some 'possesses-truck-loads-of-money-but-doesn't-know-what-to-do-with-it' sort of guy stumbles upon this article; take this suggestion.

This obviously would not have been possible without her parents' support who have instilled such values in her and have retained those values themselves. I am not likely to forget this anytime soon.

Such people do exist
Kudos