Dhoni decision unleashes a butterfly effect

The bizzarre case of Dhoni being given out by a wrong replay has sparked yet another controversy. The BCCI issued yet another statement wherein Sharad Pawar confirmed that he's received reports of food grain rotting in the open and is looking in to the problem. When reminded by the press about the issue at hand, he quipped, "the best way to protest against a wrong replay is by commenting on a different problem."

The goof-up has initiated a new method of marketing called counter-marketing and some companies are working overtime to conceptualise a full-fledged ad campaign based on the idea. While Ambuja Cement has decided to use the bikini-clad JK Cement model to drive customers away from JK Cement and hence towards Ambuja, Vodafone has decided to do away with its Zoozoo and air Dhoni's Aircel ads in a bid to encroach upon Aircel's customer base.

Last night, the CIA busted an Al-Queda plan to air old video clippings of Osama bin Laden to bluff the world in to believing that he's still alive. Upon questioning, the tape handler confessed, "If a video clip can fool a 3rd umpire hired by WICA, it can surely fool the CIA, innit?"

Meanwhile, the widespread use of the concept has landed the involved parties in a tussle over copyright ownership. Gregory Brathwaite, the officiating 3rd umpire is owning up to full responsibilty for the mistake and demanding full right, citing it as an unfortunate and avoidable accident which has ultimately proven to be fortunate as well as unavoidable for the emancipation of cricket in general and mankind in particular. The TV broadcasting agency too has staked its claimed for the rights declaring that they have been doing committing similar errors for a while now by airing wrong advertisements and programs. When asked, a spokesman explained, "We have hired highly untrained and underpaid professionals specifically for this job as nobody watches our channel anyway."

MS Dhoni claimed to be the victim of the fiasco and demanded to be compensated by way of copyrights and declared that he wont rest while sipping martinis on Barbados beach. An extremely enthusiastic reporter managed to peep in to an SMS sent to Shashank Manohar by him and could read the following words: wrong... sad... money... arm twist... WICA...ICC, before being hoicked away in the air by Dhoni in an ugly manner.

In the ongoing ICC meet, a new rule has been drafted by which a batsman can be given out based on the evidence of a previous delivery. Following the news, Cricket Boards across the globe have engaged in a bidding war over video clippings of a teenaged Sachin and Warne in his prime.

Others in a Sachin moment

This day Sachin completes 20 years in International cricket. To borrow Ramiz Raja's catchphrase (or rather word), a 'tremendous' achievement. It could not have been easy, carrying the expectations of a billion people and more often than not, the responsibility of 10 others. Were I to get a Rupee for every run of his, I'd have been richer by about 30 grands, which, mind you, is no mean feat, earning 30,000 Rs., that is.

In keeping with this moment, the most popular faces in cricket lavished praises on him, namely Geoffrey Boycott, Ravi Shastri, Harsha Bhogle (English) and Maninder Singh (Hindi) . Everyone from his coach, brother to the extras who hung-around-him-in-a-pepsi ad and Shahrukh Khan have a different opinion about his greatest asset. While most said it was hard-work, passion and humility, there were a few who thought it was his butt. Strangely enough, nobody emphasises on his talent. Makes me think that any romeo-styled lover, with a dash of humility, a ripe butt and 2 litres of sweat everyday can become a national icon.

Admist all the fanfare, Lalit Modi lauded Sachin's marketing acumen in making Mumbai Indians the biggest IPL brand, despite not doing too well on-field. The defining moment, however, came when Sidhu quoted, "Just like it is foolish to drive after dusk without your headlights on, likewise, you should not drool over other women while your wife is around", admist fits of laughter after every word, which lasted anywhere between a minute to an hour. Rumour has it that every channel is now trying to put together an expert panel comprising at least a cricketer, a psychiatrist, an astrologer, an acclaimed novelist ( not Chetan Bhagat) and a finance, railway or foreign affairs minister, who will try and comprehend the gist of Mr. Sidhu's statement and find its parallels in Sachin's career.

It has also come to my notice that during one such show, MNS activists raided a TV Channel's office and disrupted proceedings. They shouted a few slogans and staged a walk-out, only to return after being reminded that this wasn't a parliamentary session. Despite nobody bothering to ask him, Raj Thakarey issued a reason for this 'appropriate' behavior by his party workers. According to him, Sachin being a Marathi Manoos, all the discussions regarding him should be held in Marathi on this occassion. Upon this declaration, he turned to the anchor of the show, Tony Greig, and warned him of dire consequences if not complied to - all in Marathi. Tony did well to not ask him to translate that in English.

All this drivel apart, it has been fantastic watching him play over the years. I hope he wins The Cup, and this time, for himself, more than for us. Also waiting for him to complete a century of centuries. I know the day will come. Amen

A team called T&T

Apart from few others, the Champions' League has managed to score one major positive. Succinctly put, that positive is called Trinidad and Tobago. A club team, which managed a berth almost as a favor, coming from a country whose cricket board is doing everything in its power to lose reputation and credibility. The team, for obvious reasons, were the underdogs, but have now barged in to the finals as favorites and in style at that.

I have only read about the West Indies of yore when Malcolm Marshall broke batsmen's bones and Viv Richards destroyed bowlers. The only reminiscent of those times was the genius called Lara who was all but consistent when I started taking an interest in cricket. Nevertheless, he was a treat to watch when on song. With the likes of Gayle and Bravo, there's still some talent in the team but the mainstays, Sarwan and Chandrapaul, are ugly accumulators, a far cry from the style and flair associated with the island team.

Watching this team, you can be sure that cricket ain't leaving these football crazy islands easily. It was a treat to watch the special kinds of drives which go to fine-leg and pulls that go over long-on. With no half measures, the strength and confidence behind each stroke is exemplary. Although the bowling was belted around but that could be blamed on the pitch. Add to this the typical underdog story and it's hard not to support the men in red. These guys could give any national side a run for their money. Aptly named TNT, they are effecting some serious explosions.

PS: These guys are playing with serious pride. Celebrating wickets and man-of-the-match award by waving their flag.

Super over

After AB, another de Villiers shot to limelight. The do or die match for both Eagles and Sussex and resulted in a tie. Eagles scored a very gettable 9 against a peach of an over by Yasir Arafat. In the next innings(?), de Villiers bowled a real super over by taking out the off-stump twice in the 1st 2 balls.
What's his 1st name initials? C.
So now we have AB, C de Villiers. More on the way?

Champion's League

I am having a hard time picking up a team to support. Not that I am watching much of it but neither are the umpires. They have put friggin' mics on the umpires to have a chat with the commentators. What next? Put a mic inside a batsman's helmet and listen to his thoughts after each ball?

Rahul Dravid: 'defend'...'defend'...
Harbhajan Singh: 'Monkey'
Andrew Symonds: 'Boo hoo'
Sachin: "he's only saying 'maa ki'
Ponting: "Screw England"
Flintoff: "I'll go freelance, screw England"
Strauss: "Flintoff is inspring,screw England"

The questions asked to the umpires are the best part; "Are you enjoying the match?". Gimme that much money and I'll 'enjoy' the match, standing on my head. Also, the discussion continues when the bowler is about to bowl or the batsman has hit a four. The drop in entertainment factor is comparable to switching from Bob Dylan to Akon.