Stronger

I know you are disappointed,
You won't admit but you are hurt,
you were and will always be good,
No child's play, all that effort

The hard work doesn't matter,
Life seems to be unfair,
There is no gratification.
Unlikely that anyone will care.

Just draw the good from it,
leave the ugly alone.
The hard work means experience,
Rest all is only bygone

Take what you need to take,
the motive was to learn.
don't let anything change it,
'cos experince is what you earn.

A day will come in life,
when things are all set right.
Darkness will simmer to nothingness,
giving way to a new light.

When that stage is reached,
You will laugh at all this.
you will remember these days
and it will be sans any malice

Time gone by is always good,
not something to resent.
The mistakes made back then,
Help form the present.

So when bad comes knocking by, streaming in,
Focus hard, don't let your mind wander.
'Cos what doesn't kill you,
only makes you stronger.

Shallow words

Why do you always dig deeper,
when there's nothing to find.
Stop reading between the lines,
there ain't deeper meanings behind.

Please don't stress yourself,
Spare your pretty brain the grind.
My words mean nothing at all,
they're there because they rhymed.

I do poke people with words,
as if it were a sword I wield.
But I don't hide behind them,
never use them like a shield.

It is fine if you do not understand,
let slip a pun that was intended.
But you make me wince in pain,
when you accept what wasn't presented.

If you expect mountains of ideas,
you should go look else somewhere.
Even this rhyme ain't no deep ocean,
I wrote it because I had time to spare.

It is amusing to think though,
when you find layers that don't exist.
What if I wrote my heart out?
Will you ever comprehend the gist?

Learning Communication

Dear Pain in the Rear,
Our association so far has been fruitful but I'm afraid that we both need to make some extra effort to realize its optimum potential. Fr that reason, please find attached a 2 ft, oak wood stick, designed specially to relieve you of your itch in the rear by simply inserting it through the said part. I'm sure u will find much comfort in doing so. And the knowledge of you having followed my advice will give me immense pleasure. Hence, in our mutual interest I sincerely request u to try it once. Looking forward to your response
Yours truly
,!,,

Cute Rhyme

A 3rd Std. kid wrote this:

White colour ki dress pehenke hum lagte kitne achhe,
School lagta hai poultry farm aur hum lagte murgi ke bacche!!!

Fawesome...

I AM

I am a still, serene lake,

I am the raging ocean.

I am the black sheep,

I am the favorite son.

I am the decaying old tree.

I am the first leaves of spring.

I am a timid rabbit,

I am the jungle king.

I am the gloomy, grey sky.

I am the morning sunshine.

I am the fear of death,

I am life pristine.

I am the stench of rotting remains,

I am the first raindrops on sand

I am the burden of past behind,

I am the hope of future ahead.

I am the horror of rape,

I am the joy of a newborn.

I am the shackles of slavery,

I am the flight of freedom.

I am the definition of mediocrity.

I am the epitome of excellence.

I am not what you see,

I am what I want to be.

A cute li'l devil

Hi. I am Aifarya , his youngest cousin. Ashu bhaiyya claims that I am the cutest kid he knows and keeps only my pics as his phone wallpaper but he is wrong. I AM THE CUTEST KID EVER. But lately, he has been alleging that I am not that cute anymore and have become annoying. Fat chance. I am still as cute and will remain so throughout my life. Don't believe me? Just look at the pics.

Back to present. Bhaiyya is a little cold, dozing off in the AC and orders me to get him a sheet which I obediently do. Now he is sleeping so peacefully and I am bored. He should be entertaining me, right? After all, I got him the sheet and I am so cute.

So I pull off the sheet and make him an offer. Either pay me 20 bucks or get his own sheet. Being the stingy and lazy marwadi that he is, he refuses to do either and fights with me over the sheet. :(
I am only a 7 years old kid. What am i supposed to do? So I relent, give him the sheet and go sobbing to grandpa. That should teach him a lesson. But grandpa laughs it off. Hello... Why aren't people listening to me despite the cuteness and being the youngest of my generation?

Later in the day, I sell him Adi bhai's CDs (worth Rs. 100)for Rs. 20. Now Adi is furious at me and Ashu bhai wants Rs. 50 for the CDs. How am I supposed to get the money? So I again try my Modus Operandi and go sobbing to grandpa asking him to pay Ashu bhaiyya and get the CDs back. Grandpa again laughs it off. What happened to the cuteness quotient?

I had to flick the CDs subsequently. That jerk of a bro.

I wrote this just to let you know that he is as big a sadist inside as he is on the outside.
Beware!!! And don't go prodding him, trying to find a heart.

My Personal Hippies

I was on the road, lonely and alone
Pitiful were my days, my evenings forlorn.
A barren road lay stretched behind and ahead,
I wouldn’t even know the direction, but for my footprints on the sand.

The sun shone bright, always at high noon,
Never saw any clouds, or the stars and the moon.
I was destined to trudge the infinite path,
Was not to halt, rest or even catch my breath.

One morning, with the sun still at mid-day,
I said to myself, “I’d do something better, if I may”
I repeated the same at noon and then in the evening,
But nothing changed and my hopes were diminishing.

As darkness approached and I prepared to stop,
A shrill scream from the right gave me a jolt.
Turning in the direction of the sound,
I spotted a bunch of hippies with joy unbound.

They were eagerly calling to me by my name,
As if I were an artist courting popularity and fame.
Their excitement grew watching me approach,
The screams too went up a few notch.

They warmly welcomed me to the group,
Treating me to delectable food.
Despite the curiosity, the music all around helped me cheer,
And later in the night, they told me who they were.

This was my personal group of hippies I was told,
People who I had met on the path, in days of old.
As I got to know more and more,
I realized all this had happened before.

Whenever I was dejected and ready to quit,
They would pick me up and put me back on my feet.
There was more to it, this being only part of the rhyme,
I too was their hippy as they were mine.

I too sing for them and dance to tunes,
When they are stuck in their sand dunes.
When day breaks, the celebrations end and we move on,
And you find yourself on the road again, walking alone.

This morn too, the road remained the same and so did the sun,
But I was a different man after the night of frolic and fun.
Brisk was my walk and my stride long,
Joy in my heart and on my lips was my ‘Personal Hippy Song’.

- To Sajal and Satyan, on their Birthday

Kuch bhool gaya, Kuch choot gaya

Fir Ek sooraj ast hua,
fir ek din toot gaya
Itne kaaj niptaye aaj,
par lagta hai kuch choot gaya

Dekha tha ek sapna maine,
ab to wo bhi toot gaya...
vyast hua itna jeevan mein,
ki shayad jeena hi choot gaya...

Armaanon ka gubbara tha ek,
ab to vo bhi foot gaya...
Kuch bikhre armaan dhoondh liye,
ek pulinda choot gaya...

Jiski karta hun roz archana,
vo patthar bhi mujhse rooth gaya...
Ujaale mein tha bahut bharosa,
andhere mein vo bhi toot gaya....

Har saanjh lagta hai aise,
kuch bhool gaya, kuch choot gaya...
Fir har subah bhulata hun usko,
jo bhool gaya jo choot gaya...

"Hazaaron khwahishein aisi, ki har khwahish pe dum nikle...
bahut nikle mere armaan lekin fir bhi kam nikle
Khuda ke waaste, parda na kaaba se , utha zaalim
kahin aisa na ho yahan bhi , wahi kaafir sanam nikle"
- Ghalib

Weak Pak, Strong Pak

A friend of mine wrote a blog about our relations with Pakistan and what should India's future goals in this regard be. And he sums them up with this:

"Lets face the facts, a weak Pakistan is very much in our interest. For three decades after the liberation of Bangladesh, Pakistan was weak enough to not bother India. At the same time, we should try everything we can to enhance good relations with other neighbours like Sri Lanka and Nepal. Two hostile neighbours is more than enough. It is to the distinct advantage of the big power nations to preserve Indo-Pak balance of power and it is high time India looks out for its own interests. Peace is what is ultimately desired and we’ve tried enough times to achieve peace without bloodshed. If it takes war to achieve lasting peace, so be it."

It is of course clearer and more informative than any of mine but I still have some couter arguments for him and others with similar opinion.

To begin with, I don't agree that in this age, peace can only be achieved through war. US and Europe have hardly reached the levels of pre 9/11 calm and the threats have only increased after laying Afghanistan and Iraq to dust. The religious leaders in Middle East have now found a common enemy to attack and 'inspire' the youth which was perhaps slipping away. The latest terror-attemptee felt "US threatened Islam."

Coming back to India v/s Pak. Well we might go to war or weaken the nation covertly. But is a chaotic Pak better than a managed one? To begin with, the Taliban is hurting Pak too and that is essentially because of weak leadership. And in that environment what if, God forbid, The BOMB falls in to Taliban's hands? They are not going to think twice before dropping it. I doubt if the deterrence logic will work with them.

Is it a coincidence that the bomb blasts increased in India after Musharraf quit? I know that Musharraf was the man behind Kargil but what would you rather have? Military insurgency or Mumbai 7/11? The attacks happened because the army and ISI lost control of their own home-grown Jehadis who were earlier building bases on Tiger Hills under clear orders. Plus, a stronger leadership is more likely to move them towards development and education than a weaker state. It is a general rule that the dissatisfied youth rebels while the better-off stay aloof.

Moving on, India may or not decide to support the Baloch's right to self determination simply because we can never pressurise Pakistan. It will only distort our shambolic relations more and neither are the Baloch going to be grateful. Think of Bangladesh here. We played a big role in freeing them but they only have contempt for the Big Brother of the sub continent.

So I think we should take measures to build our own security and intelligence and make efforts to build a more lawful Pakistan. Even Chanakya, although endorsing war, was in favor of strong neighbors as chaos has a habit of spilling over.

PS: We are also incapable of terrorist activities against another nation as our dissatisfied youth can find multiple enemies in this multicultural nation itself.

Bizzare Bihanis

Cousin(in the car): Why aren't belts compulsory here. Even in Jaipur they are.

Ashtung: Because people wear tight pants here

Lagaan - A Match Report

The match started on a bright sunny morning and a clear blue sky, without a hint of rain or clouds, in the middle of monsoons, which was actually the reason for the match to be staged in the 1st place. The atmosphere was delightful with the entire province turning up for the match to cheer the home team. Their uniformly white attire which matched the visitors' colors, may have sent a wrong message about their loyalties towards the visitors. The different stands of service provided by the ground staff was appalling as the general public was not allowed placards, food items or even water bottles, while the visitors' guests could comfortably smoke a cigar in the pavilion. So much for atithi devo bhava.

Capt. Russell of England won the toss and adhering to conventional wisdom, elected to bat first. The Indian captain, taking a leaf out of the IPL, opted to open with a spinner, in a Test Match. No prizes for guessing who was sent on a leather chase. Later in the day, the home team unleashed an unconventional bowler who rotated his arm 10 times before bowling. Doubt if his shoulder can withstand the wear and tear for more than 2 years in the international circuit. In spite of the dedication displayed by the home team, England took the honours for the day.

Late at night, the Indian team were spotted visiting the temple with their supporters seeking a divine intervention which came a while later. It was reported that one of the team members, who was in love with the Indian captain's arm-candy was accused of conspiring with the opposition captain and fixing the match result. While links with bookies are being investigated, he was allowed to continue in the match as the hearing was pending with ICC.

Day 2 belonged to India as they cleaned up the tail easily as Kachra found some help from the track and managed a hat-trick, eliciting fears of the track cracking on the final day. This was, however a false alarm as the track behaved true and accommodated, supported and even cheered cross-batted shots from the whole Indian batting line-up. Shots, which wouldn't last an over outside the subcontinent and their inadequate technique was exploited by the mean English pacer with a Merv Hughes beard when he hit Lakha on the head with a vicious bouncer.

Although India scored at a healthy rate, the fall of wickets at regular intervals meant the English were always ahead. It took an injured Ismail, a no-ball in the final delivery and a last ball DLF Maximum to see India home. In a typical IPL fashion, the captain received a Zintaesque hug from the main cheerleader as supporters cheered around him and the rain gods finally let go after holding their bladder for 3 days.

This was a match that will be remembered through ages for various reasons; the underdogs beat the favorites on their debut, India held their nerve in crunch situations, the last-ball finish, and above all, for the big prize money worth 3 years of Lagaan.


Post Match, speculations were rife regarding the nationality of the visitors. While their on-field sledging suggested Aussie roots, their failure to contain Bhuvan and remove Kachra in the last over left no doubt over their SA origin, although they kept swearing their loyalty to the Queen. Turns out that ECB hiring Saffers is a century old concept after all.

A special mention should be made of the sole commentator who stuck to his job of announcing the score without sounding foolish, a welcome relief after the crass Danny Morrison we witnessed during the IPL.

A Letter to Ramiz Raja

Dear Ramiz,

For years I have tolerated your ubiquitous presence at any post-match presentation ceremony or in the commentary box. I have cringed at your 80s hair-style, wondering if you actually realised that the hairdo, as well as you, were way past your popularity peak. While your command over the Queen's language made me doubt your nationality, the on-the-brink-of-crying voice during Pakistan's defeats confirmed it.

Even as a kid, your post match interviews either made me belch or laugh, depending upon the match's outcome and my mood. You however, managed to keep them senseless and directionless with a bloody minded persistence. And every time you uttered the word 'tremendous' more than thrice in a minute, I swore to God to torture you to a recording of that single word, played over and over again, until that was the only word you could speak. But the next second I used to remind myself that that would be redundant. And just when our relationship had hit rock bottom, you went ahead and started digging the bottom by doing this.

But isn't life funny? You ask why. Because I miss you. I miss your directionless remarks because they were at least cricket. I miss you because of the new presentation team in IPL. True, you sucked at it, but you sucked at it with the authority. Albeit, the authority of an ordinary and somewhat experienced ex-cricketer, but some authority nevertheless. Unlike the bunch of nincompoops who don't have any knowledge either of cricket and (hopefully) of what they are saying. Well, if they did really know what they were saying and still said it, they should be sent on a political and media exile to the US for being so dumb.

True, you are biased against India and are miserable when India wins. But here, any time winning would be Indian so you will always be miserable, unlike the partial Sunny who roots shamelessly for MI. To be honest, I'd enjoy that more than Sunny going hero-worshipping over a Sachin single. Between you and me, I also hate Sunny getting all poetic about the moon when showing off his GK on MRF and it's horrible offspring, the blimp.

To put things in perspective, if you were to be part of IPL, I doubt if I'd feel like breaking the TV any less than I do now. But at least I'll not feel ashamed of my fellow countrymen and feel like migrating to Bangladesh every time I wake up in the morning and will be able to blame it on Pakistan. Hence, dear Ramiz, please write a letter, or e-mail, or tweet, or court summon, to Mr. Modi, his assistant or his peon, depending upon your approach inside his office and offer yourself as Pakistan's gift to Indian cricket, in lieu of Sania Mirza. I am sure he will comply.

A Cricket Lover

Interesting IPL

IPL is supposed to be a region-based franchisee playing a game of youngsters, where, incidentally, it's the veterans flourishing. Some observations:

RR is perhaps the only franchisee which has a quota for the old, physically challenged and the downtrodden. To elaborate, Martyn is way past his prime and Smith's fingers are always susceptible these days, but they still play ahead of so many others. The weak and under-nourished frames of all the local players (Asnodkar, Trivedi to name a few) explains the underprivileged quota.

The franchisee of the most regionally staunch state has imported the captain from Jharkhand. It also has arguably the biggest man hitting it with, unarguably, the smallest bat.

The 'Deccan' Chargers have Cuttack, Orrisa as the home venue. They also have VVS opening the innings.

Mallya has turned the RCB players in to a walking advert of every single liquor sold by him. Look closely, their helmet screams "White Mischief".

Can't poke at MI. It's captained by SRT.

Ganguly took a catch way better than anything he had snapped in his entire career. Talk about late bloomers.

DD has Mcgrath and Dilshan on the bench. Am I in the same universe?

Modi actually found someone to sponsor the absence of cricket (time-outs).

And here's the killer: The closest thing to a Sardar in Punjab's squad is Sreesanth.

And then there are the not-so-interesting things: DLF Maximum, Karbonn Kamaal catch, injuries, Angad Bedi (in stead of Mandira), Samir Kochhar, Ravi Shastri, Danny Morrison, Ashish Nehra... sigh...

RR Tragedy

I am sick of the IPL.

I love cricket and IPL but only when India and RR respectively are winning (Although I don't mind India winning the IPL or the RR winning a Test-match for that matter). But RR have now hit rock-bottom and I am glad I didn't go to watch the RR v/s RCB live last night. I'm sure I would have ended up in a Police Station on charges of assaulting Lumb or Martyn. I know my anger should be directed at those who bought them. But Warne got us the cup first up and Shilpa Shetty is ummm, well, Shilpa Shetty.

It all started with the typical 'bania' strategy they applied during the auction. Buying fringe-players cheaply worked once. But it did not in SA and doesn't seem to be working now. Add to that Smith's fingers. Dude, what's up with those. Seems like God decided to have a laugh by replacing a bull's horns with carrots. Not cool. Please take good care of them. Shilpa Shetty can advise you on the finer nuances of a manicure.

Then there's the not-so-curious, but sad enough case of Jadeja. He has now successfully proved that he's equally bad at switching franchisees as he is at switching ends while batting. Apart from an unconvincing win the other night, things look quite dismal for RR, unless...

Unless. That's the word the hopelessly optimistic (notice the oxymoron?) RR fan in me keeps muttering. Unless the team regroups. Unless Martyn sheds the artistry of a young Martyn and plays like an old Kallis. Unless Shaun Tait plays starts bowling like Maurice Tate. Unless Pathan remains Pathan in every match. Unless the shrewd Warney is 'setting-up' the other teams in to complacency and will bowl them around, over and between the legs now.


PS: Saturday's win gave me some hope but it's still a long way to go.

Fuzzy Logic??

I was tagged. So here it goes...

Why is the sky blue?

The sky - birds fly in the sky.

Birds - Birds lay eggs.

Eggs - I hope RR detractors end up with eggs on their respective faces.

RR - RR is partly owned by Shilpa Shetty.

Shilpa Shetty - oooohhhhh.

Ooooohhhh - It's the antonym of arrrghhh...

Arrrghhh - Biotechnology

Biotechnology - It's been called the next big thing for the past decade now.

Decade - India has a population census once every decade.

India - India's sports uniform is blue.

And hence, my dear friend, the sky is blue... Phew..

PS: If you read it, consider yourself tagged.. It's interesting

That special someone

If you think you are sad, pathetic and lonely, so much so that no body remembers your birthday, think again. There is someone who will. And that someone always remembers, without fail. Someone who doesn't have to rely on Orkut or Fb to do that.

That special someone doesn't even expect you to remember his in return. In fact, it knows you don't and doesn't complain about it, but never forgets yours and never asks for a treat either. And the ungrateful people we are, we take it for granted all the time. Even if we trust it to keep safe one of the most important things in our lives. Money.

Yes fellas, I am talking about your bank. Only people who never forget.

PS: Dont get me wrong guys. I am not a 12 years old girl, or a 25 years old one for that matter. I thank those who wished and doesn't matter if you didn't. Just an observation.

Parliament behavior 101

They say that most great wars have been fought over women... It is true for India at least, with the one going on in the parliament right now...

I am sure these monkeys are trained by their respective party's more experienced monkeys before letting them mingle with monkeys from other parties. Some of the points the training stresses upon as I imagine:


1. Wear a kurta - a shirt gives the impression that you are educated. Something you certainly don't want to portray

2. Your verbal reaction towards the budget solely depends on your loyalties and not on your understanding of finance. For instance:

• Ruling MP: The budget is good. Projections for fiscal deficit are double than last year

• Opposition MP: Fiscal deficit rose because of my party's policies. You people blundered big time by not focusing on inflation and letting it fall.

3. Never forget that you have been elected for a reason - they believe you can fight hard for your people. Show them how hard you can fight and not only with words.

4. Never miss a chance to fiercely attack another party, by words or otherwise, but do it ambiguously. Just in case you need to switch your loyalties as fiercely to the party you fiercely attacked.

5. Mics, chairs etc. are all handy equipments. Build your upper body strength to use them effectively in a debate.

6. For reactions on bills, go to 2.

7. If the bill is about any sort of reservation, 6 is not applicable. In this case, you must cut across party lines, caste, race, ideologies and IPL loyalties to support it.

8. You can bypass 7 if you can find any scope of reservation within the reservation bill.

9. If you are in the opposition, verbal reaction is just not enough. If you are either well-behaved or old or both, you should stage a walk out. Else, go to 5.*

10. If you are in the ruling party and tabling a bill - Proximity to anyone carrying a mic or chair is potentially harmful. Build your upper body strength to defend yourself effectively.

* Do not stage a walk out condemning an on-going terrorist attack on the parliament. We don't want to go to the voting booth again. And we just might miss you too.

46 singles were just not enough

Facts first, the adulations can follow:
India and China are the only 2 big economies unaffected by the meltdown. While the Chinese were busy hacking in to Google, whole of India dropped the work at hand to watch Him bat and then the highlights for the next 2 days. So in effect, Sachin has pushed the global economy back by 3 days.

Every possible imagery and superlative has already been used by one or the other to describe him and I could not possibly add to that, unless I learnt Japanese. But this is special. This one will be unattainable. Someone else, I am sure will go past the no. of centuries but nobody will ever be the first to a double ton now. It's his for keeps.

This is special for another reason too. All the statistics could only be used to compare him with others and could not quite establish his superiority. Something was amiss. Something that set him apart, like Lara's 400. This one pushes him a rung above doubt. 46 singles were just not enough.

I have to be honest here. Since the day he retired hurt at the rectangular field in NZ, I doubted if he will ever go past 150 again, let alone 2 tons. He cramped bad and the bitch called age seemed to be catching up. Hence, that heart-breaking 175 came as a surprise to me. But that day, I thought, the determination to win eclipsed age and I secretly braced myself on being able to watch his last great ODI Innings.

Wasn't so. This man is not about overpowering age. He is beyond it. It's as if age is just another delivery he should be careful of. He has simply cut down the risks and adrenaline the way he cut out the cover-drive at Sydney in 'that' 241-knock. The way only he can.

Moment of truth again. I am not really hopeful of India winning the next WC, no matter how passionate Sachin is about that. But I do hope that he proves me wrong once more. For himself.

His post-match interview summed it up for me when he said; "I was striking the ball pretty well."

Yes you were

Note: This post can also be read here, with better articles around it.

Narcissism

I don’t mind being a sex symbol: Aditya

BACK TO Basics: Aditya We think he could soon earn the tag of Sandalwood sex symbol......Yeah rright...N i am the next Hugh Jackman FYI: He's a Sandalwood actor and this article appeared in ToI

Idiot Box

Quite a fad to squeeze in 'idiot' everywhere, isn't it???

So one reaches home at 6 and am alone. Plenty of time to relax before dinner. Now relaxation, ideally, should involve a glass of whiskey, a cuban cigar, and a stripper gyrating inches away from you. But ain't life a bitch. One had to settle for a cuppa tea and the newspaper.

Now, if you don't care about "Brangelina's" break up or Ramya's (don't ask me who the hell she is) new movie, you would have already finished ToI midway through your ultra-quick no.2 in the morning. So I was left alone with the darned remote control.

I don't know what it is about the TV. It's like this hot girl asking you to let her drive. You just can't refuse despite knowing that, she being a girl, you'll regret it. Gullible folks like me, make the same mistake with the TV and switch it on most of the times. And as like a girl driving, accidents usually follow a good start here.

So I switch it on to set max, which is showing those amazing IPL "we missed you" commercials - All you guys should watch those at least on you tube. And then the surfing begins. One wades through a clutter of movies in languages incomprehensible to most north indian ears, and lands on CID which shows a bomb-squad comprising of one personnel, who's wearing a friggin' space-suit with a skull at the back.

After sometime which felt like hours, one moves on, only to find himself staring at(not watching) a soap, set in Rajasthan, where every woman wears saree and jewellery all the time and the men recite lines in a language which, they think, resembles Rajasthani. Yeah, nobody can stay on that for long.

Having never liked music much, except for few old songs, there's no incentive to tune in to the music channels which show SRK playing himself in his next movie. So I move to news channels hoping to catch something informative, but the Sainiks and Rahul Baba won't let me avail my right of information. I dread the day when we'll have to lodge an RTI to get the budget.

At long end, I decided to settle on good old cricket. I could even watch an Eng vs Ban Test match so it was a safe bet. But what were they showing? Highlights of India being thrashed by SA in an old match. Great. But the Cherry on the cake were the breaks where Surya reads lines from under the camera about saving tigers. I bet he didnt get the full payment. I mean, I could do a better job at reciting without expressions, or even pause.

Never again, I said, and switched it off.

PS: Forgit to mention Rahul Mahajan looking for a bride. But you can imagine how was that.

Bizzarre Bihanis

I: Why would any girl want to marry Rahul Mahajan. He drove his last wife out of home by beating her.

Dad: Not his fault. Some just don't leave without a beating.

Chennai Trip

So, I went to Chennai for 2 day. Yeah, go on. I can hear your laughing. But they ain't shifting the campus anytime soon so if I gotta meet college friends, I gotta go to Chennai, unless they come to Bangalore. Things have changed in the campus, for the worse.

The weather till sucks and due to the extension work going on, the mess-terrace is gone from 3 storeyed hostels and those poor chaps can't sleep during the day, thanks to the incessant hammering and drilling noise. Forget about sleeping, they can't even watch a movie in that much noise. Things are even worse in my hostel. Why? Because Bhaand still hasn't left and he has managed to grow the hair on his non-bald island on head long enough to tie 'it up in a pony. Good luck, Narmadites.

The good part, of course, was meeting friends and congratulating them on their placements. But this happiness was short-lived as I discovered on my way back. See, they will become bankers, analysts, consultants etc. but none of these positions have any real power. I mean, they will be able to acuire anything money can buy but nothing that money can't. And even master card agrees that money cannot buy everything.

You know what money can't buy but power can? The right to pull a 23 years old's cheek and get away it in a crowded train. The right to still refuse him a seat even after the ordeal. The poor boy's only fault was to have hoped for the elusive mistress called luck to provide him a seat in a reserved compartment, with th help of Mr. money. But she refused to show up. And it was then that my life changed.

See, I had enough money to buy out the man himself but I still couldn't buy myself out of the heinous act. That was a moment of clarity. I realised what I were to become. A TTE in a day train. Those guys have real power man. They can throw you outta the train, they can make you stand for hours and they can damn well pull your cheek. Imagine sashaying in an overcrowded compartment, wearing a coat in 45 degrees, throwing the first one out, making the second guy stand and pulling every 3rd guy's cheek. Heck, you might become a TTE on the arc shown in 2012, if a catastrophe is on its way.

Now since I've decided to become one and have no clue where to begin, please send me any details you might possess/come across. If it turns out to be helpful, I assure you, your cheeks will be stamped 'safe.'

The 3 idiotic things

Long time since I wrote because it's hard to write long essays on miniscule topics, given my attention span, and as a man not given to hard work, I give it a miss..

What do Americans have against their own culture? My guess is Inferiority complex. So many times have I seen movies where some less educated community is threatened by americans/english and they hit back bravely (except,of course, Bond against the Russians). There was Lawrence of Arabia, The Last Samurai, Dances with the Wolves, some movie on Vietnam, Letters to eo Jhima and now there's the 3D wonder Avatar. Frankly this movie was nothing without the effects. For plot, it had a sad story about how Americans attack Pandora and the native nomads defend their land, referring to earth as a 'dying planet'. I mean, c'mon guys, how much can you hate your own country? I don't think we Indians can stand a movie which portrays us in a bad light. Can we? May be we could tolerate a movie against Indians, but certainly nothing against our caste or community.

Mr. Bhagat, please stop polluting the world. You are a terrible excuse for a writer, you cry like a little girl for credit in a bad movie and you do not look or sound good on TV. As if this all wasn't enough, you are wasting precious newsprint space in TOI every Sunday. But I am not all criticism and can see the silver lining here. It's people like you who give me hope. If you could make a career out of writing, I figure I could become a Test-match batsman or even a Biotech scientist, in spite of the aforementioned span of attention.

That's right, the 3rd point is about that stupid movie. All sorts of thing, good and bad, have been said about the movie and hence all I want to say is, I have seen suicides in my college life but never due to a professor. The reason s always something else. Even in the movie, the Dean didn't anticipate the suicide/attempt and hence it's hardly logical to blame him. And yeah, in real life, the courses or projects aren't so difficult that they push you to such actions. I am a 'living' example, passing with a decent CGPA and a BTP which I finished in under 5 days (although I didn't have a job by the time I left but that blame lies on others and not at all on the prof).