Idiot Box

Quite a fad to squeeze in 'idiot' everywhere, isn't it???

So one reaches home at 6 and am alone. Plenty of time to relax before dinner. Now relaxation, ideally, should involve a glass of whiskey, a cuban cigar, and a stripper gyrating inches away from you. But ain't life a bitch. One had to settle for a cuppa tea and the newspaper.

Now, if you don't care about "Brangelina's" break up or Ramya's (don't ask me who the hell she is) new movie, you would have already finished ToI midway through your ultra-quick no.2 in the morning. So I was left alone with the darned remote control.

I don't know what it is about the TV. It's like this hot girl asking you to let her drive. You just can't refuse despite knowing that, she being a girl, you'll regret it. Gullible folks like me, make the same mistake with the TV and switch it on most of the times. And as like a girl driving, accidents usually follow a good start here.

So I switch it on to set max, which is showing those amazing IPL "we missed you" commercials - All you guys should watch those at least on you tube. And then the surfing begins. One wades through a clutter of movies in languages incomprehensible to most north indian ears, and lands on CID which shows a bomb-squad comprising of one personnel, who's wearing a friggin' space-suit with a skull at the back.

After sometime which felt like hours, one moves on, only to find himself staring at(not watching) a soap, set in Rajasthan, where every woman wears saree and jewellery all the time and the men recite lines in a language which, they think, resembles Rajasthani. Yeah, nobody can stay on that for long.

Having never liked music much, except for few old songs, there's no incentive to tune in to the music channels which show SRK playing himself in his next movie. So I move to news channels hoping to catch something informative, but the Sainiks and Rahul Baba won't let me avail my right of information. I dread the day when we'll have to lodge an RTI to get the budget.

At long end, I decided to settle on good old cricket. I could even watch an Eng vs Ban Test match so it was a safe bet. But what were they showing? Highlights of India being thrashed by SA in an old match. Great. But the Cherry on the cake were the breaks where Surya reads lines from under the camera about saving tigers. I bet he didnt get the full payment. I mean, I could do a better job at reciting without expressions, or even pause.

Never again, I said, and switched it off.

PS: Forgit to mention Rahul Mahajan looking for a bride. But you can imagine how was that.

Bizzarre Bihanis

I: Why would any girl want to marry Rahul Mahajan. He drove his last wife out of home by beating her.

Dad: Not his fault. Some just don't leave without a beating.