Professor Chakraborty,
Foculty,
Operations Management,
IMT Ghaziabad,
Rojnagar,
Ghoziabad
Sub: Onticipatory potition against the toghness of tomorrow's exam in view of the contemporary social and cultural environment
Dear Sir,
As you know, tomorrow is the mother-of-all closhes in the World Cup. In case you do not already know, I am dolighted to infarm you that India hab reached the semi-phinal of the on going Cricket World Cup and sholl be playing against sworn rivals Pakistan in Mohali tomorrow. Needless to add that the bhinner will proceed to the finals.
As a professor of Operations Management, I am sure you realise the grovity of the situation. I wish to add that tomorrow has been declared holf day in most compaanies across India, including US MNCs. (We didn't even need a strike to achieve that).Else, the amount of obsenteeism would have created an operational nightmare for managors like me who phinish their MBAs remaining grossly untrained and ignorant of the discipline.
Extrapolating the same logic, I assure you that none of my friends shall stady for the exam either, as I only befriend peepul who are cricket lovers. Only those without a shrod of patriotism in them sholl lock themselves up and crom for the exam. If taaph koschen is cooming, it will simply dibhide the test-takors in two categories. The majority with a big, bold 'O' gaping from their onswer sheets and an unpatriotic, capitolist minority who shall score some marks. Tell me sir, bhat is more impotent. Bhatching a Sachin (sorry, Dada retired a bhile back) straight drive reaching the boundory or scoring 10 marks in the eggjaaam.
I should omphasise that this is a dangerooos situatooon as it bhill create a class divide with the nationalists losing out to anti-national forces. Surely you cannot let that happen. Moreover, you being a Bengali should give the hard workers and the slockers equal opportunity and marks.
PS: We shall go on a strike if our demands our not met, Bengal style.
Thonkfully yours,
Ashutosh Bihani,
Cricket lover and accidental MBA
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Friday, 25 March 2011
Adios, O' Fiendish Genius
I should perhaps begin by saying that I liked you. I liked you because you were a genius at your profession. The aggression, the grit, the skill and above all the bloody-mindedness were all in place. You decimated the opposition to pieces and robbed them of any self-belief they might possess. Steve Waugh, the greatest captain I have seen, prophesied that you shall be the best batsman for the past decade. His 'Aussiness' prevented him from adding the words 'next to Sachin' but we all knew that, didn't we?
I admired your class and the practice of taking on the best bowler of the opposition to stamp your authority. Down the years, you became the captain of the Aussie juggernaut and I admired you for being such a wonderful captain. I didn't hate you when each of the billion of us were at least dejected in '03 because of you. I even spared a thought for you and the very likable Brett Lee in the greatest Ashes Series ever.
But then, something changed. As the battle-hardened heroes set in to the sunset, they exposed a gray side of a genius which was, until then so effectively hidden behind the camouflage of a utopia where no pressure existed. To begin with, that team you lead was a as perfect a machine as their could be, in which, every cog and lever knew its function and performed it with precision. Once the old parts wore off, it became clear that you were not half the machine operator everyone thought of you to be. Your tactics ranged from intelligent to reckless, sometimes even flirting with selfishness and stupidity. (Think the time when Dhoni and Bhajji added quick 70 odd runs when Ponting bowled part timers, to get on with the time and save 'banned' from being stamped on his ass for the next match). More generally, recall his face when he loses from a tight situation. It is neither remorse, nor dejection. It is anger, frustration and above all, bewilderment. It screams a loss of control over the proceedings. Not done. Not done at all.
Such incidents can, however, only lessen respect but cannot generate negativity. That is generated by unfair, ungentlemanly acts. Of which, you have committed plenty. Sledging, pressuring the umpire and lying were, and are, simply part of the game for you. But then, this game is called the gentleman's game for a reason. Instances of dishonesty which are simply overlooked in other sports, are not taken lightly in this one. Such moments can be found aplenty in your career. (pointing out such instances is pointless)
You are a true great of the game and no one could deny you that. But with this greatness, did come some responsibility. You were to be an ambassador of the game, a mentor to your team mates and a role-model to the youngsters. Sadly, you failed here. You were arrogant, abusive and, to put it rudely, a cheat. While Sachin walks, Kallis takes the fielder's word on a catch, you insult the game by claiming grassed catches. I pray that the next generation of cricketers do not idolise you or the cricket field will turn in to a zoo with players jumping up and down like orangutans, the way Watson did on Gayle's face after getting him out.
I think I have made my point here. On a parting note, I am happy that you ended your illustrious WC journey with a century. Partly because it is befitting but mainly because the hurt of a gritty, memorable century in a losing cause will compensate a bit for the heartburns you have inflicted on cricket and its fans with your behavior.
Adios, O' fiendish genius!!!
I admired your class and the practice of taking on the best bowler of the opposition to stamp your authority. Down the years, you became the captain of the Aussie juggernaut and I admired you for being such a wonderful captain. I didn't hate you when each of the billion of us were at least dejected in '03 because of you. I even spared a thought for you and the very likable Brett Lee in the greatest Ashes Series ever.
But then, something changed. As the battle-hardened heroes set in to the sunset, they exposed a gray side of a genius which was, until then so effectively hidden behind the camouflage of a utopia where no pressure existed. To begin with, that team you lead was a as perfect a machine as their could be, in which, every cog and lever knew its function and performed it with precision. Once the old parts wore off, it became clear that you were not half the machine operator everyone thought of you to be. Your tactics ranged from intelligent to reckless, sometimes even flirting with selfishness and stupidity. (Think the time when Dhoni and Bhajji added quick 70 odd runs when Ponting bowled part timers, to get on with the time and save 'banned' from being stamped on his ass for the next match). More generally, recall his face when he loses from a tight situation. It is neither remorse, nor dejection. It is anger, frustration and above all, bewilderment. It screams a loss of control over the proceedings. Not done. Not done at all.
Such incidents can, however, only lessen respect but cannot generate negativity. That is generated by unfair, ungentlemanly acts. Of which, you have committed plenty. Sledging, pressuring the umpire and lying were, and are, simply part of the game for you. But then, this game is called the gentleman's game for a reason. Instances of dishonesty which are simply overlooked in other sports, are not taken lightly in this one. Such moments can be found aplenty in your career. (pointing out such instances is pointless)
You are a true great of the game and no one could deny you that. But with this greatness, did come some responsibility. You were to be an ambassador of the game, a mentor to your team mates and a role-model to the youngsters. Sadly, you failed here. You were arrogant, abusive and, to put it rudely, a cheat. While Sachin walks, Kallis takes the fielder's word on a catch, you insult the game by claiming grassed catches. I pray that the next generation of cricketers do not idolise you or the cricket field will turn in to a zoo with players jumping up and down like orangutans, the way Watson did on Gayle's face after getting him out.
I think I have made my point here. On a parting note, I am happy that you ended your illustrious WC journey with a century. Partly because it is befitting but mainly because the hurt of a gritty, memorable century in a losing cause will compensate a bit for the heartburns you have inflicted on cricket and its fans with your behavior.
Adios, O' fiendish genius!!!
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