Heights

Two friends meet
after a time long,
to dept. maths
the geniuses belong

Both arrogant, both proud
they have a fight
who is smarter,
who is more bright

A test they shall have,
which will, the answer decide
To find anyhow, anyway,
a flagpole's height

One pelted stones
on the tip of the post
His equations, his idea
God only knows

The other measured the distance
between the post and him
A compass and some nods now
telling the angle between the bottom and tip

A frustrated engineer
decides to cut short the day
lays the pole on ground
scales it with a measuring tape

One says to the other
ignore him, another confused child
telling us the length,
when we are looking for height...

BT Bards

Deepak: Hello, pizza hut, I want 2 pizzas, blah, blah, blah...

Attendant: Ur address pls

Deepak: room no 120, tapti hostel, iit

Attendant: Sir, could u repeat the address pls...

Deepak: ......., iit madras, adyar, near...

Attendant: Sorry sir, you have called the Hyderabad outlet

The luck factor

"It's not only about hard work or intelligence, luck counts too. And you are fortunate to get in."

Every time I have achieved anything , I have been given this 'gyaan', from people who think they can double as philosophers in their spare time. Oh, I'm sure you all too must have tasted this. Crediting my achievements to anyone, even God, more than I give them credit for, angers me, apart from provoking other emotions belonging to the same family.

Living in a socialised world, we are not expected to express our opinion freely, lesser so on ourselves, which by the way, is also the case with a socialist society, making them quite similar. Ironical, and hence laughable for my sad sense of humour.

I have two kinds of responses for such people

The first one is for those who have passed the 'age barrier' and do not need any other qualification to shed some of their wisdom. Here, I just throw a smile, as polite as I can and nod.
Sometimes they keep rambling on about the luck factor in life but I would have found something else to keep me, realising that usually they don't even care whether or not I'm listening.

The second kind is the one born after 'Sholay', but feel that they have accomplished/seen enough in life to earn the post of a philosopher. Unfortunately, they are usually right and I, like others, respect them for more than just the age difference between us.

Ideally, my reaction here should also be the same but somehow, blame it on my genes, that doesn't happen. I invariably blurt out, " I don't believe in luck. It's just my hardwork that paid off" . This is followed by the done to death cliche' " aajkal ke ladke" or " isliye bachchon ko hostel mein nahin bhejna chahiye".

I must learn to keep shut in situation no. 2 as well. Once people know that they have achieved something in life, they turn conservative rather early.


Quintessential QT

Anon QT member: I'm not a gay

Phantom: No u r not. you can fuck anything that moves...

The OSO Effect

1 o' clock. I just tucked myself in bed when the phone rang.

Me: Hi...well.. surprised me

R: Hi

Me: wassup, hows life

R: hmmm.. Good, how r u... what u doin?

Me: m fine too... was watching OSO.

R: aren’t you sleeping ?

Me: just about to.

R: I too watched OSO n… cant sleep now...

Me: c'mon, it wasn’t that funny... wasn’t that bad either, in case u didn’t like it

R: no it was nice... but i'm...i'm...(pause)

Me: I am?

R: scared...

Me: what??!!

R: I usually don get scared da..

Me: HAhhah

R: I watched horror English movies... just that Indian movies kinda scare me more…

Me: ha ha ha... ha ha ha...

R: m serious.. Don’t laugh.. It’s not funny

Me: ha ha ha ha..... now I can truly say that OSO has all the masala...

R: bad boy… It’s not like that.. It seems more possible that’s all.. bhoot n all..

Me: oh... ha ha ha ha ha ha...imagine that once there lived a girl in your room, who committed suicide…

R: Shut up da… I m really scared…

Me: ….jumping off the roof... ha ha ha

R: m shit scared alright?.. I dint call u to scare me anymore

Me: … and that her body is still buried where she fell, 5 mts from your room... tonight, she...

I hear a sob and then, Beep. Phone disconnected

Epilogue:

I laughed till my stomach hurt, n then laughed some more... took me 20 mins to calm down... then tried calling back… number busy... tried calling… wouldn’t take my calls… took another 20 mins I guess just to call it truce and apologize…

Well I won't offer any explanation, only that I’m sorry. Didn’t know it was serious enough to drown someone to tears… HahHhahaha OSO of all the movies… Hhahahaha…

BT Bards

Ashtung: I'm a stud.

Sass: oh yeah?...Then I'm the Abhishek Bachchan who's about to get into bed with Aishwarya

Lage raho Shit-car-bhai-ne

Now that sweetcarbine too has decided to venture into the territory called blogging, I'm assured of appearing regularly on at least one blog other than mine, no matter how much I'd hate to. Then I think, if I tread with some care and choose my subjects with a tad more wisdom, I can avoid his attention for a bit longer. On an afterthought, I say, "who cares". How long can the game hide from the hunter, specially when the hunter peeps into the hiding at least twice a day, and sometimes sleeps with the game too, after feasting on it. By sleep, I mean only sleep and not 'sleep'. I might be game, but I am a straight one, no foul plays.

In a way, it's good for me too. Now since the world is there to listen to him, even if they decide never again, after having being fooled into it for the 1st and only time, I can hope for some sympathy coming my way, having been one of his very few victims for over 2 years now. Oh I just hope this will put a marginal hold to his tendency of falling asleep on my mattress while doling out his 'gyaan' with people in general and me in particular.

Hence on, whenever I'd want to sleep, my bed will be free, but lonely as well :P

Alvidaaa.... lolmaxxx :))

P.S. : @sweetcarbine: dude, nobody cares about the things u will or wont blog about... get a life mannn


Narcissist Narmad

Ashtung: "What secret can a girl hold about a guy, even the thought of revealing which, scares the guy to death?"

Sweetcarbine: "That he is impotent?"

Take a Stand

What is common between X-Men, Matrix and LOTR?

1. They all have fictional characters and a fantasy land.

2. Although all of them are based on the age-old 'good beats evil' idea, they are a tad grey for fairytales

3. They are amongst my fav movies

Of the 3, 2 are recognised as pieces of art, ranking among the best 50 movies of all times. They have everything in them that makes a movie great. But for me, X Men too is a favourite, despite the fact that it lacks in every dept. as compared to the other two.

What fascinates me in these movies equally is the climax. It ain't as much the direction or the script. It's just the idea. A few standing against a few too many. They fight for what they believe in. They fight, knowing that their chances are slim. They fight, knowing that they will lose, which is very close to what I feel when face such situations, albeit, not nearly as fatal.

Situations, where I either stand up for my beliefs and end up losing, or just keep mum, saving my ass. I have gone either ways, at different times. Usually I have benefited when I compromised and hurt myself when I stood up. Although keeping mum has helped, I have always felt a pang of guilt, as big or small as the situation, doing that. On the other hand,when I choose not to compromise, I have felt a sense of pleasure in standing my ground. No matter how much it hurt me, it has always come with a smile on my face and pride in my heart.

Interestingly, I tend to forget the situations where I compromised but can accurately recall, with a smile, the times when I did not bend.

Hobbes(from calvin & Hobbes): " You should be adamant when you can be, and compromise when you must"

P.S.: I have thought of attaching a quote by me or peers in every blog hence. Here's the 1st one

BT bombs

Gochi: Gurunath ke puff mein adrak kyun hoti hai
Ashtung: taki bandar na kha saken :D

Botal ka naach (transliteration)

Me: nasha sharaab mein hota to naachti botal


Achal:
jo hota nasha sharaab mein, to hote nashe mein dhutt,
kuch is kone mein kuch us kone mein, botal ke anshbhoot

fir na hoti tumhari botal,
na hi hota botal ka naach

Me:
Jo na nache botal nashe mein dhutt
To kya ud ke pahunche kone kone mein ashbhoot

Na botal nashe mein,
na nasha sharaab mein
Ye to zariya hai milane ka
Insaan ko rooh-o-rubaab mein

Jab khush hota hai banda mera,Nachta hai lekar haath mein pyala
Jab hota hai vo gum mein choor,
Toote dil jaise tootati hai botal,
Phailte hain kone kone mein anshbhoot

Ilzaam fir aata hai sharaab par,
Nahin lagata tohmat koi kyun,Dil todne vale husn-e-shabaab par


Achal:
Humne jawaab maanga to na tha,
apne diya, aapki rahmat hai

बोतल का नाच

Me: नशा शराब में होता तो नाचती बोतल


Achal:
जो होता नशा शराब में,
तो होते पड़े नशे में धुत्त बोतल के अशभूत,
कुछ इस कोने में तो कुछ उस कोने में,
फिर ना होती तुम्हारी बोतल और ना ही होता बोतल का नाच


Me:
जो न नाचे बोतल नशे में धुत्त
तो क्या उड़ के पहुंचे कोने कोने में अश्भूत
न बोतल नशे में, न नशा शराब में
ये तो ज़रिया है मिलाने का
इंसान को रूह-ओ-रुबाब में
जब खुश होता है बन्दा मेरा,
नाचता है लेकर हाथ में प्याला
जब होता है वो गम में चूर,
टूटे दिल जैसे टूटती है बोतल,
फैलते हैं कोने कोने में अश्भूत
इल्जाम फिर आता है शराब पर,
नहीं लगता तोहमत कोई क्यों
दिल तोड़ने वाले हुस्न-ए-शबाब पर


Achal:
मैंने जवाब तो न माँगा था
आपने दिया, आपकी रहमत है

Agni-Pareeksha

The war has ended. Ravan and his loyal kin attained martyrdom. Martyrdom, because they stood with unquestionable pride and dignity, till they fell. Martyrdom, because they upheld Ravan's pride as their own and fought, knowing that they will die. Celebrations abound in the victor's camp, as the Vanar sena enjoys the sweet joy of victory.

Today, Vibhishan, who deserted his brother to side by 'Dharma', has been declared the king, and has married Ravan's devoted wife, Mandodari. The vanar-sena is celebrating and so are their commanders. One soul though, in spite of being rescued, is crying out for justice, for due respect and for wisdom. The following piece is the speech that I imagine Sita delivers.

Today is the day for 'agni-pareeksha'. I am expected to prove that my character is still as pure. I am left with no choice but to walk on burning coal, to convince the world that I was faithful to my duties as a wife. All the honored, wise and respectable men present here believe that this is just.

A woman who shuns all royal luxuries to be with her husband in his exile, immediately after marriage, is required to prove that she is indeed worthy of him.

Oh wise Jambvan! You are a sage who can tell right from wrong. Why can you not see it today? Has your wisdom been blinded by Ram's aura? Sugreev, vanar king! Why are you silent? You did not ask your wife to tread over fire after you won her back from Bali. Oh mighty Hanuman! You call me your mother. You slit your chest apart to show that your heart had Him and me in it. But then, why do you not speak against the insult inflicted on me. Garud, your brother died trying to save me. Should you not save me from this shame?

My brother-in-law, Lakhman! You liken me to your mothers. Would you let this happen to any of your three mothers? You stood against your father's order to send us into exile. Should you not stand against the court today? When Ram found my earring, you said you could not recognize it because you have always only seen my feet. Can you, then, bear to see these feet treading over smoldering coal?

Ram. Oh, my husband Ram! 'Maryada Purushottam Ram'! What do I ask of you? If you were not sure of it, then why did you even wage this war? I reckon it was about the pride of your dynasty rather than my honour.

I shall still endure this and forgive you all. This is my destiny. I shall come out unharmed and then will have to go into exile again because of a washer man’s sarcasm. The woman will never be accepted in Ayodhya, but her sons will be. My name will always be remembred with the Man who, for me, fought an army but could not fight off questions on my character.

Connect

इस ज़माने से छुपकर पूरी कर लूं मैं हसरत...

No wonder the song has been a hit in India... Just see the way it relates to our favourite activity

The Note

I know each of us cribs about the same problem, " I tend to spend the cash when I have it." What I have witnessed over the last month, is quite the contrary.

For a good part of the past month, my friends have been feeding me at Gurunath, paying for the usual tea and occasional puff. It's not that I was broke or that they were generous, neither had they lost a bet to me. In fact, they held out the Rs. 5 coin rather reluctantly.

It so happened that during this time, people who I had lent money to, decided they shall clear it all in the same month. Now the amounts we are talking about here were multiples of 500 and were returned in the notes carrying the same or higher denomination. Once in my wallet, I could say that I had cash but was understandably reluctant to get it changed for lower value notes for a Rs. 5 tea. Also, since I had at least one such note in my wallet always, I found it only reasonable that I do not withdraw any more money from the ATM.

It was not like I did not spend a penny during this period. I did buy some stuff, went home and came back. I was bound to deal with smaller notes. But once those got exhausted and the big ones alone were left, the same stream of logic resumed.

No matter how tempted I was to keep it going, it had to end sometime, just like the blog. Running out of options and patience, I finally changed one to smaller value ones.

P.S. :I thank all those who paid for me, sometimes reluctantly though, over this period. At the same time I wish to let you know that although you have been generous to me, do not expect me to return the favour.