I am sure these monkeys are trained by their respective party's more experienced monkeys before letting them mingle with monkeys from other parties. Some of the points the training stresses upon as I imagine:
1. Wear a kurta - a shirt gives the impression that you are educated. Something you certainly don't want to portray
2. Your verbal reaction towards the budget solely depends on your loyalties and not on your understanding of finance. For instance:
- Ruling MP: The budget is good. Projections for fiscal deficit are double than last year
- Opposition MP: Fiscal deficit rose because of my party's policies. You people blundered big time by not focusing on inflation and letting it fall.
4. Never miss a chance to fiercely attack another party, by words or otherwise, but do it ambiguously. Just in case you need to switch your loyalties as fiercely to the party you fiercely attacked.
5. Mics, chairs etc. are all handy equipments. Build your upper body strength to use them effectively in a debate.
6. For reactions on bills, go to 2.
7. If the bill is about any sort of reservation, 6 is not applicable. In this case, you must cut across party lines, caste, race, ideologies and IPL loyalties to support it.
8. You can bypass 7 if you can find any scope of reservation within the reservation bill.
9. If you are in the opposition, verbal reaction is just not enough. If you are either well-behaved or old or both, you should stage a walk out. Else, go to 5.*
10. If you are in the ruling party and tabling a bill - Proximity to anyone carrying a mic or chair is potentially harmful. Build your upper body strength to defend yourself effectively.
* Do not stage a walk out condemning an on-going terrorist attack on the parliament. We don't want to go to the voting booth again. And we just might miss you too.
5 comments:
Firstly, sad that you didnt respect the parliament and its members especially the monkeys part!
Secondly, its a pathetic attempt at humor.
Even though i am politically neutral, i think this was a good budget, better than the previous ones for sure.
I am sure you will agree with me.
sorry for being rash!!
@guess: Not exactly Mr./Ms current affairs, are we?
Watch the 'discussion' on women's bill... unbecoming of people's representatives to say the least...
About respecting: I make sure I vote and remember stating in my blog somewhere
"I'd any day chose a poor democracy over a flourishing dictatorship"
also, do i get to know who it is?
nice post :)
India's democracy can hardly be called a 'flourishing' democracy though.. our polity seems to think that reservation is a panacea for all kinds of social imbalances.
Besides, maybe in Nehru's time there was REAL parliamentary debate where the govt actually used to consider the opposition's views, but otherwise 'parliamentary debate' in india pretty much follows the guidelines you put up :)
@Akhil: pleasantly surprised to find you on the same side of an argument for a change :)
There used to debates, depending on the ruler. All-party-meets were more of a norm than exception during Vajpeyee's times.
Anyhow, I hope I live to see the day when it ceases to be a monkey business...
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