Mob

Kannada actor Vishnu died yesterday. Apparently he was a legend here, next only to 'eeef you come today' Rajkumar. Realising the situation could be dangerous, Most offices remained closed and hence I got an unexpected holiday. Turns out, those fears were not baseless; his fans, who apparently had nothing better to do, torched a few vehicles. Now I don't believe in spirits but even those who do would agree that Yama did not come to take him in any of those vehicles.

This incident highlights our low levels of tolerance for anything and everything. A recent survey put us 2nd behind Iran on religious intolerance. I fear we would even beat Iran if we just talk about intolerance. Vishnu died, let off the steam with some charred vehicles. Rajkumar dies, kill 5 more. India cricket team lose a match, demolish their homes.

One could even comprehend (not support) the fury and angst over bigger issues like religion, reservation or a separate state but such chaos over a natural death is beyond imagination. The most frustrating thing is that these people always get away with it. Be it the Hindus in Gujarat, Gujjars in Rajasthan, Telangana supporters in Andhra or even yesterday's mob. The law keepers are all to happy to sweep it under the carpet.

It is infuriating to watch civilised people trample law and order like that. Perhaps we deserve an alive Afzal Guru, a '6-months sentenced' SPS Rathore and a remorseless Kasab. We perhaps also deserve the shame of not being able to try Hadlee or hang Abu Salem.

I hope things change and change soon.

Happy new year

Narcissist Narmad

Random Guy: What does 'Jai Ho' mean?

Achaar: Long live the revolution

10 Ways to have your way in India

1. Become Rich - Apart from making decisions effecting millions of lives, you can buy an IPL team and actually tell Sehwag how to play.

2. Be with a silver spoon born - This works great if you have billing issues with your mobile company. Just open one of your own. And if you are now getting the bills from your own company, you can do the following: spar over it with your brother so loud that neighbors hear everything. In the ensuing division of toys keep this one and then send the bill to your brother, just to teach him a lesson.

3. Become a movie (super) star - You can date the hottest of 'em, get away with hunting deer, running over people, doing shows for, politely put, questionable people and advertsing for Arindam Choudhary.

Caution : 'Super' is important; Shiney Ahuja is discovering that the hard way.

4. Be a star-son: You can start an acting career whenever you've run out of things to do or you can even marry a Miss World.

5. Become a cricketer: You can get a car imported without paying any duty or you can run for assembly elections. Just make sure people have forgotten about the irrelevant stuff like match-fixing or homicide charges. And blimey- You might even develop the guts to put India before Maharashtra despite being a Marathi living in Bombay... OMG...I'm terribly sorry.. It's Mumbai

6. Become a cricketer's son: Oops... This just came out with the flow. Not much good here, unless Rohan Gavaskar's lifestyle inspires you.

6. Become a gangster: This way, you can prepare the ground to become a politician, the benifits of which are described next.

7. Become a politician: Do I really need to explain this? You can also go down in history books as the one who reserved 27% of govt. seats to the disadvantaged, hence making the upper-caste born rue their lineage - an activity reserved for the reserved category before reservations came in to picture.

8. Become a politician's son: Apart from the obvious advantages of becoming a politician yourself, you can get away with doing cocaine and making headlines about it.

9. Declare yourself a Godman: You can claim others' land, indulge in nefariously sleazy activities and sit on a tiger's skin atop golden throne, while claiming to have renounced materialistic pleasures.

10.Fast-unto-death: This one is serious. Gandhi set a wrong precedent. In the first place, one man's principles cannot be more important than a nation's needs. And in today's world, with blind ambitions replacing principles, this is turning dangerous. One man can now ignite the whole of Andhra Pradesh.

Ways you might be tempted to take but shouldn't

11. Replace Manmohan Singh or YSR: They are at high and mighty positions but while the Reddy brothers have reined in YSR, MMS has been dutifully reporting to 'Madamji' since taking charge of India.

Bizarre Bihanis

Me(in a lot of pain): My wisdom tooth is erupting

Dad: YES!!! Thank God. I had given up hopes on you.

Such People Do Exist

This post is a bout a girl named Palak Muchhal. I heard of her for the 1st time when I was in Kota and she performed their. A sensational singer already, she was all of 12 years then. With time, I forgot about her, only to be reminded of her a few days later on my trip to Nagpur. My uncles had attended her performance just a day back and just could not stop talking about her. About her voice, her behaviour, her polite manner and the ever-visible smile on her face. But most of all, for her deeds.

Apart from accommodation and travel expenses, this girl charges a minimum of Rs. 50,000 per show and has erformed in Dubai and Singapore too. In Nagpur, I'm told, she collected Rs. 21 Lakhs. This is the amount donated by the 400-500 people present their. Apart from the obvious inferences about the gathering being of Big, fat-rich people, it perhaps indicates the cause she works for.

All the proceeds from her shows go in the treatment of children needing a heart surgery but whose parents cannot afford it. Since each surgery costs Rs. 50,000, hence the minimum amount. All she gets is a doll for each of the life saved. So far she has received 234 dolls and she is not even 18 yet. So if some 'possesses-truck-loads-of-money-but-doesn't-know-what-to-do-with-it' sort of guy stumbles upon this article; take this suggestion.

This obviously would not have been possible without her parents' support who have instilled such values in her and have retained those values themselves. I am not likely to forget this anytime soon.

Such people do exist
Kudos

Others in a Sachin moment

This day Sachin completes 20 years in International cricket. To borrow Ramiz Raja's catchphrase (or rather word), a 'tremendous' achievement. It could not have been easy, carrying the expectations of a billion people and more often than not, the responsibility of 10 others. Were I to get a Rupee for every run of his, I'd have been richer by about 30 grands, which, mind you, is no mean feat, earning 30,000 Rs., that is.

In keeping with this moment, the most popular faces in cricket lavished praises on him, namely Geoffrey Boycott, Ravi Shastri, Harsha Bhogle (English) and Maninder Singh (Hindi) . Everyone from his coach, brother to the extras who hung-around-him-in-a-pepsi ad and Shahrukh Khan have a different opinion about his greatest asset. While most said it was hard-work, passion and humility, there were a few who thought it was his butt. Strangely enough, nobody emphasises on his talent. Makes me think that any romeo-styled lover, with a dash of humility, a ripe butt and 2 litres of sweat everyday can become a national icon.

Admist all the fanfare, Lalit Modi lauded Sachin's marketing acumen in making Mumbai Indians the biggest IPL brand, despite not doing too well on-field. The defining moment, however, came when Sidhu quoted, "Just like it is foolish to drive after dusk without your headlights on, likewise, you should not drool over other women while your wife is around", admist fits of laughter after every word, which lasted anywhere between a minute to an hour. Rumour has it that every channel is now trying to put together an expert panel comprising at least a cricketer, a psychiatrist, an astrologer, an acclaimed novelist ( not Chetan Bhagat) and a finance, railway or foreign affairs minister, who will try and comprehend the gist of Mr. Sidhu's statement and find its parallels in Sachin's career.

It has also come to my notice that during one such show, MNS activists raided a TV Channel's office and disrupted proceedings. They shouted a few slogans and staged a walk-out, only to return after being reminded that this wasn't a parliamentary session. Despite nobody bothering to ask him, Raj Thakarey issued a reason for this 'appropriate' behavior by his party workers. According to him, Sachin being a Marathi Manoos, all the discussions regarding him should be held in Marathi on this occassion. Upon this declaration, he turned to the anchor of the show, Tony Greig, and warned him of dire consequences if not complied to - all in Marathi. Tony did well to not ask him to translate that in English.

All this drivel apart, it has been fantastic watching him play over the years. I hope he wins The Cup, and this time, for himself, more than for us. Also waiting for him to complete a century of centuries. I know the day will come. Amen

The idea of Democracy

India achieved independence in 1947 and we are now the largest democracy in the world. The vision of the founding fathers was 'Swaraj' or self-rule. In compliance with that, we elect MLAs and MPs who represent us in assemblies. This should give us self-rule, you would think. The govt. work for us, you would think. Not quite.

We do not have the power to rule ourselves. For starters, we presume that the ideas and principles of an elected representative would be in line with the interests of the majority of the population since they chose him. But history suggests that majority can never be kept united. In present times, Advani's hardcore Hindutva handed BJP a drubbing in the Lok-Sabha elections. Whereas in Bihar, MP and UP, the Lalus, Paswans and Mulayams have always kept their focus on large minorities. Hence the promises and subsequent schemes and actions are towards wooing minorities.

Even if the majority happens to elect itself a leader, it can only pick a representative for itself. The policy-makers or the ministers are chosen not by us but by the party 'high-command' which usually means the whims and fancies of at most half a dozen persons. How else could you justify the re-appointment of R. R. Patil as Maharashtra's home-minister, who termed the 26/11 attack as a minor incident. I am sure the majority of Maharashtrians wouldn't approve.

Then there are individuals who have the power to modify or change policies to suit them, perfectly under the realms of law. Without going deeper in to that, I'll just say that this class too is a minority. Perhaps keeping the majority, the 'aam-aadmi' interested while a small and powerful elite group runs the show from behind the curtains, is the game. What is our role then? At best, we have the power to pick those elites who run the show.

Totally Unrelated Note: Another heart-break for the nation as the old warhorse waged a lone battle in a sea of ruins, falling just before the line. The collective efforts of 10 others could not overcome the last hurdle. Sachin reminded us of the 90s, and so did the rest of the team.

Since Sachin's heroics and subsequent heartbreak, Tatenda Taibu and Mohammad Aameer went through the same fate, both bagging the man of the match award too. Sachin inspiration?

Rules & Evolution

Watching the pub scene in RDB, I feel like the characters in the 1st half are a lot closer to us than we realise. Every other person of my age (starting from me) is a cynic these days, questioning traditions to contemporary culture, from history to futuristic ideas and every timeline between them. With access to internet, blogs, online forums and other outlets, we now have a bigger platform to argue on than ever before.

While some are valid and thought provoking, a few of the popular ones are just rubbish and show the 'argumentative nature of Indians', who just have to question every norm. Specially the arguments against society, system and the likes. Apparently they hold back the free-spirited. Not entirely true that.

To begin with, if there were no rules, there would be no 'free-spirit', just like there's no darkness without light. Furthermore, all the animals follow some norms and rules within their herds which become more elaborate and clearly defined as we go up the evolutionary ladder. Man too, being a social animal, is bound to have them. Our rules are just more defined and clearly laid-down, in keeping with the our arguably superior mental capabalities.

Any set of rules, be it science or social-science, is open to modification, correction, interpretation and even rejection and hence is evolutionary in nature: survival of the fittest. What keeps evolving in the right direction, survives, and the others dissappear. The country-laws have, for instance, come a long way from Hammurabi's slabs or the 10 commandments to a Penal code, with 2kgs of paper. As with our body and brain, these systems have now become so complex that it's hard to track back the roots. A lack of understanding leads us to believe that they are whimsical, just like a lack of common-sense made us allow women to drive cars.

A system, in fact, is essential for growth and development. Let's take the most common system in the world, the number system, whose contribution in the development of mankind is obvious. Take in it, the most common number sequence: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. Now if you were to write 7.00000001 afer 7 in stead of 8, that would be wrong. While 7.0000001 is not wrong in itself but it is out of place their. If their were no such system in place, and 7.0000001 were as good as 8, we would never have learnt counting. Similarly, if their were no civic laws or codes of conduct, it would be a disaster. Lack of law enforcement always results in a breakdown of law and order. The increased crime-rates after disasters, like the Tsunami and Bihar, are a clear indicator. True, sometimes they seem suffocating, but they are evolving all the time. We are, but a mere means to a better system, not the sum of it.

If you feel strongly against something, pray that others do too, for then, it will fall by the side in the long run*. If you hate and question every rule and system created by mankind, go to the Himalayas. You might find some peace away from any traces of man. And oh, don't forget to leave those clothes behnd, they too afterall, are the result of a production system.

*Long-run: No time-frame. However, it is widely speculated that the long-run is usually longer than short-run.**

**Short-run: Believed to be shorter than the long-run, despite the lack of a comprehensive reason.

PS: I am not a responsible author and have deliberately left out a lot of aspects because i found them boring to write about.

Naxalites

The term naxalites is used for Indian Maoists or communism seeking terrorists. The term came from Naxalbari, an underdeveloped village in West Bengal where the movement is said to have begun. With an ideology which appealed to an intellectual mind and compassionate heart, it lured many a rich and educated youngsters in the organisation, especially in WB (where every man who can just about read and write thinks of himself as someone worthy of a Noble or knighthood, if given a chance). With the young blood pumping rearing to rebel and the spread pf communism around the globe, the ideas were easy to believe too.

All this made the Naxals quite a nuisance back then. But the times were different. From what I understand, police brutalities, although prevelant, did not create a lump in the dog's thorat which keeps a watch on human rights. The political parties and media too were unequivocal in their stand against the Naxalites. This gave the govt. a good support and it dealt with the problem with an iron fist, knocking it down for a good 20 years. The only mistake, perhaps, was that they failed to crush it completely. But a govt. cannot order mass executions.

Times have changed. The movement has changed course. What was an ideology driven movement has now disintegrated in to terrorist outfits who harrass and torture the upper class for their bread and butter. The ideology is pretty much lost with the fall of communism, the learned ones rather had the free market take care of the poor. In spite of all this, the Naxalites are stronger than ever, whether in numbers or affected area.

This should not have happened, in spite of the Chinese money allegedly pouring in. But we are not what we were back then. These days, every action has a multitude of reactions and barring one, all are opposite ones. Suppose the army storms and shoots down a few at a Naxal camp. Apart from the ruling party, it will be criticised by everyone in the assembly. The media will raise a hulabaloo about a milkman who died in the crossfire, pressurising the govt. to take full responsibility and compensating its family. The human rights' people will slogan-shout their lungs out and the Madhur Bhandarkar or Nandita Das will make a film about it portraying Naxals as the Robinhoods and police as the villians.

Add to the mix a govt, which talks more and does a tad less, and you have a rather dangerous situation on hand. Mr. Chidambaram has been reminding us about th threat the Naxalites are to us for sometime now but has not quite achieved a lot. I don't understand why he even needs to declare a war on them. It's a job best done quietly. Just keep going after them and just show us the result. All this talking just seems to have reached those terrorists and might have made them feel that they needed to end a message. I hence think that today's hijack scare had more than a little to do with Chidambaram's statements.

PS: Just to emphasise on my point of hostil reactions to anything govt; there wasn't a single movie made on Naxalism until 1998. Since then, there have been at least 3. Needless to say, all of them take a sympathetic look at them.

Bizzarre Bihanis

Me: Dad, I should gift a note counter. Will give you some rest. (He's in to a business which involves a lot of cash dealings, but not so much cash :( unfortunately )
Dad: You just gift me notes. Lemme worry about the counting.

A team called T&T

Apart from few others, the Champions' League has managed to score one major positive. Succinctly put, that positive is called Trinidad and Tobago. A club team, which managed a berth almost as a favor, coming from a country whose cricket board is doing everything in its power to lose reputation and credibility. The team, for obvious reasons, were the underdogs, but have now barged in to the finals as favorites and in style at that.

I have only read about the West Indies of yore when Malcolm Marshall broke batsmen's bones and Viv Richards destroyed bowlers. The only reminiscent of those times was the genius called Lara who was all but consistent when I started taking an interest in cricket. Nevertheless, he was a treat to watch when on song. With the likes of Gayle and Bravo, there's still some talent in the team but the mainstays, Sarwan and Chandrapaul, are ugly accumulators, a far cry from the style and flair associated with the island team.

Watching this team, you can be sure that cricket ain't leaving these football crazy islands easily. It was a treat to watch the special kinds of drives which go to fine-leg and pulls that go over long-on. With no half measures, the strength and confidence behind each stroke is exemplary. Although the bowling was belted around but that could be blamed on the pitch. Add to this the typical underdog story and it's hard not to support the men in red. These guys could give any national side a run for their money. Aptly named TNT, they are effecting some serious explosions.

PS: These guys are playing with serious pride. Celebrating wickets and man-of-the-match award by waving their flag.

Super over

After AB, another de Villiers shot to limelight. The do or die match for both Eagles and Sussex and resulted in a tie. Eagles scored a very gettable 9 against a peach of an over by Yasir Arafat. In the next innings(?), de Villiers bowled a real super over by taking out the off-stump twice in the 1st 2 balls.
What's his 1st name initials? C.
So now we have AB, C de Villiers. More on the way?

Champion's League

I am having a hard time picking up a team to support. Not that I am watching much of it but neither are the umpires. They have put friggin' mics on the umpires to have a chat with the commentators. What next? Put a mic inside a batsman's helmet and listen to his thoughts after each ball?

Rahul Dravid: 'defend'...'defend'...
Harbhajan Singh: 'Monkey'
Andrew Symonds: 'Boo hoo'
Sachin: "he's only saying 'maa ki'
Ponting: "Screw England"
Flintoff: "I'll go freelance, screw England"
Strauss: "Flintoff is inspring,screw England"

The questions asked to the umpires are the best part; "Are you enjoying the match?". Gimme that much money and I'll 'enjoy' the match, standing on my head. Also, the discussion continues when the bowler is about to bowl or the batsman has hit a four. The drop in entertainment factor is comparable to switching from Bob Dylan to Akon.

Watching Mohabbatein

Since I'm busy all week, I only get weekend time with my parents and more often than not, parents are insensitive to a grown up but still unproductive guy. They make you watch Mohabbatein. Arrgghhh..

The scenes jump like a hopping rabbit, the screenplay seems to be done as a favor, the dialogues are cheesy and the logic consistently flirts with the line between creativity and absurdity. Although the 6 lovers have a whole range of expressions but only if you count in binary. Aishwarya Rai just could not emote and even Anupam Kher is a letdown.

The movie is still watchable. Not because of the premise, which is ridiculous to say the least. It's the Yash, Raj, SRK and Amitabh trio ( the comma after Yash is a deliberate typo). Well, a Yash Raj can pull off anything from a Valentine's much after Holi in this 'Gurukul' and a Volvo in the 70s in Veer-Zara. God knows how many times he has duped me in a similar fashion.

PS:I didn't ENJOY it. It was just watchable.

The Nobel & Other Things Irrelevant

For sometime now I am being bugged by people, newspapers and TV alike as they all dicuss stuff I could very well do without. So I jotted down a things we should not and should discuss

Things we need not think about:

1. Obama winning the Nobel Prize: He may or may not deserve it but does it matter anymore? There are so many better things that precious advertising space called status message could be devoted to. My blog for instance. The way I see it, it might be more insightful to discuss my blog entries, which can be edited and deleted, than pondering over that sailed ship.

BTW, history suggests that if you really,really,truly, badly and desperately want to win a Nobel Prize, becoming the President of US is your best shot. Four, yes four, I repeat, four of them have won it. No other chair has won so many.

2. 'The' austerity drive: Yeah yeah yeah... Rahul Baba travelled by train, Mr. Tharoor tweeted about it and the press wasted reels of newsprint and hours of showtime to it. Was it honest? I don't know and neither do I care because what they are going to save is loose change in comparison to what they spend.

Btw, I found Mr. Tharoor being asked to leave a hotel and occupy his alloted Bungalow quite ironic when MPs (ex) don't vacate their Bungalows months after vacating office.

3. Salman, SRK, Aamir: Saas-Bahu is passe', enter the blogosphere. I don't really care if SRK and 'KJo' are more than friends, what's Aamir's dog's name or if Salman gifted his shirt to a shirtless man and thus himself getting shirtless in the process.

It might be noted that Amitji has been deliberately left out of it. I don't hear much about anyone else and hence haven't grown sick of them yet.

4. Cricket: Think about this one and get back. I'll be waiting for your valuable thoughts and not-so-valuable insults.

I must admit that a some of my recent posts might suggest, I myself indulge a lot in the last fallacy.

Things we should spare more than a miniscule thought for:

1. The Ambani Bros. Feud.

2. Naxalites

3. The authenticity of Pokharan, although nothing can come out of it now.

4. Dev D/ Abhay Deol

PS: A friend's status message: Next year's peace prize to Simpu Sir... What's the zoke bhai???

Gandhi, I and Autos

Gandhi Jayanti is just to get this one rolling. When it comes to Gandhi, I have read his autobiography but cannot understand him. I have played his assassin in a monoacting bit from the anti-Gandhi play, 'Me Nathuram Godse Boltoy', with which I didn't agree one bit, but I still don't have an opinion. Sure he was a great man and stood for independence, a cause very dear to me, but he is difficult to relate to and much more difficult to follow. Perhaps my horizons of wisdom are not vast enough to comprehend his ideas.

Anyhow, this post is about an incident which wasn't exactly non-violent.

My partners in crime were 2 close buddies. These friends will henceforth be called I and I because calling them S and A will confuse that paltry lot of readers who better know them by their nicknames, which begin with I and I respectively.

One fine evening, as I was whiling away time on my computer, I buzzed me to ask if I wanted to watch Dev D. "I thought you'd never ask" I replied. I then dashed to I's room to convince him to tag along. Cutting short the chase, as I was haggling with an autowallah who was demanding Rs. 120, I had managed to find one who agreed to go for Rs. 60 to Woodlands.

This man took us to the Woodland restaurant while it was explained to him in no uncertain terms that our desired destination was Woodlands Theatre. So as he dropped us their, I gave him a Rs. 100 note and streched my palm for 40 in return. I was as surprised as me when the Autowallah returned Rs. 20. I, by the time, was already fuming due to the delay. Hence began the so very common sight of north Indian students haggling with an Autowallah in Chennai. This time around though, the mood was different. I was frustrated of being mooched of for 3 years by them. I had a strong desire to beat someone up and I was low on cash and wanted his 20 bucks.

So as the Autowallah was about to pull the lever in a bid to scurry off, I stomped on the lever. This made him very angry and he gave me a push. As if waiting for something like this, I twisted his hand as I caught him by his neck. I was now happily texting off a girl about this as I and I roughed him up.

Unlike Devdas the story has a happy ending as Abhay Deol tries to get his life back on track and doesn't die.

And oh, we got our 20 bucks back which we gave to the auto we came back in as he requested for it.

PS: I had claimed that the bone of contention was Rs. 20 but I pointed out that it was Rs. 10. So it would have cost each of us Rs. 3.33 to let go of the Autowalla. Cheap Bastards, aint we?

Lessons Learnt

• It's a heart-warming feeling to pay for your friends from your pocket. ( I know what you cheapskates are thinking. Don't even think of mooching it off)
  
  
• The best feeling in the world is not happiness or love but that of relieving yourself when you can't control it for another minute.
  

• If you cut short a conversation with a cute girl and turn towards your friend, you are stupid. Friends are supposed to watch your back not the girl in the black dress.
  

• Men do cry out of happiness. I saw one
  

• If you lose one glass from a Rs. 2600 shades, go look for it. God is not that cruel.
  
  
• There are times when it's better to push your friend in front to face the fire, specially when it's coming from your own father.
  
  
• Birds love to shit on a new car.
  
  
• It's scary to switch off the headlights of your car while going uphill at 4 in the morning. But that's precisely what makes it memorable.
  
  
• A Mallu shakes like a banana leaf in a chilly breeze. (Even a half Mallu)
  
  
• IITians take hours to find a pond but add a 'y' to it and they will find it in a jiffy.
  
  
• Every pond doesn't have fish in it.
  
  
• It's the company that makes the tea great.
  
  
• It's a bad bad idea to ride a bike in Bangalore after staying awake for over 26 hours.
  
  
• It's time to grow up. College life ain't coming back.

This comes from the day I spent with friends who came visiting to Bangalore.

PS: 2 guys were missed. One is in Guwahati and the other is plain stupid.

- Nikhil Kamath, a batchmate of mine, is no more. He left for heavenly abode yesterday. A quizzer, multiple times 10 pointer and tt captain, he was a true genius, moving on to IIM-A from IIT-M. More than his intellectual prowess, he will be missed for the goodness of his heart. For people who knew him, he was the nicest of guys and humble too. May his soul rest in peace.

Random Thoughts

RT 1: To the best of my knowledge, the only death which is celebrated by any religion is Ravana's while there is at least one death in every religion that is mourned. A life lost in any case is sad. So my fellow bloggers, please avoid expressing your contempt towards the irrationally widespread grief, or on any other aspect, related to YSR's death.

RT 2: The new Tata Docomo has a tarriff rate of 1p/sec and the demand for it suggests that a good chunk of the market will eventually will eventually land up in Tata's network. If people are charged for every second they talk, will that make them talk less? I certainly hope so.

RT 3: When in Bangalore, the best way to reach your destination, on a self-driven vehicle is to keep asking the auto-drivers about the route. They always help, sometimes even pull their vehicle to a just to explain it clearly.This is a note of gratitude towards the auto-drivers in Bangalore, without who I would be lost many times over. Hail the auto drivers.

RT 4: It rainsalmost everyday in Bangalore and I forget my helmet on the bike with the same frequency. Hope someone develops a water-proof helmet which is comfortable to wear too.

The Books I read

Once upon a time, I was tagged... Actually, once too often... So I finally decided to brag about the books I have read but then a closer inspection revealed that it's about the books which are close to you... So let's give it a shot...

1)Mrityunjay- Shivaji Sawant: Karn's version of Mahabharat, which has always fascinated me. The stories and incidents are nothing new but the perspective is. Perfect characterisation too. Not to mention the thoroughness in penning down the emotions...

2)King Solomon's Mines: Perhaps the 1st adventure classic I read. 4 men make a long and hazardous journey chasing a mythical treasure. The climax is a battle between a rightful prince and a not so righteous uncle. Read it twice end-to-end.

3)Harry Potter Series: You probably know everything I got.

4)THE Godfather- Mario Puzo: Cult. There has never been a character as awesome as Don Corleone in the history of awesomeness.

5) Famous Five series- Enid Blyton: Good reads as a child.

6) Champak: Started reading stories from them. Finished my Dad's collection of over 5 years in 1.

7) The Icon - Fredrick Forsyth: If you like spy novels, you would have read this one. If you don't like spy novels, grab a copy still.

8) Madhushala- Harivanshrai Bachchan: Such prose and equally delightful thoughts woven in to them.

Bair karate Mandir, Masjid; mel karati madhushala

9) The Hicthhiker's Guide to Galaxy: Stumps you and keeps surprising you from the word go. I'm sure it has a deeper meaning which I, a lesser mortal, have been unable to unearth.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded a

s a bad move.

10) Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Caught my imagination in middle school.

11) Calvin & Hobbes: This strip says it all:

And now time to place my foot in my mouth and criticise some popular books:

1) The Da Vinci Code- Dan Brown: Had me hooked once but better sense prevailed with time. Now, it's a good reference point if you want to sell a scandal.

2) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho: There are multiple reasons as to why I would look at the sky, ranging from romantic to meteorological but divine signals fails to make the cut. I am a friggin engineer, not the fourth wise guy.

3) Fountainhead - Ayn Rand: Only one question. Do such people really exist? All the characters have either a 'shove it up your @$$' attitude or are downright dumb. Being too full of themselves being common to all. Excruciating.

4) 5 point someone - Chetan Bhagat: I could live with the other 3 books, labelling them a time-waste. But this one refuses to leave me. Every time I make the fatal mistake of mentioning my Alma Mater, some idiot has to mention this utter waste of newsprint. What's more, it's not even interesting. Hell, my goofy jokes are better that 'half the Amazon is being felled to make books and guides for JEE preparation'. OUR LIVES ARE NOTHING LIKE THAT. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this

Quotes:

Me: What size should be the report?

Boss: 5 feet...

The Ashes

It's been decided... England won.. Although it was more of a 'worse than thou' contest this time around... Either team went for bungee jumping with their abilities in tow without tying the rope to their legs on an alternate basis... Panesar took the impact of the first Pommy fall on his turban and thus should be recommended for knighthood...

However, this was supposed to be about something else...

I never really thought about England's one-legged omen for the series until his topless images flashed across newspapers... No you pervs it wasn't the winner of the one-legged hot-bod contest but Flintoff...What a shame that was... Ganguly did well to pay him back in the same coin, that too at Lord's... How the English traditionalists would have squirmed... The rivalry is now being carried forward through Dada's protege, Yuvi in ODIs. Whereas in Test matches, well, Freddie won't play anymore and Yuvi can't... But we digress... I wanted to tell you how much I hated him even an year back but as I saw him leave, everything stood absolved... I could see what he meant to cricket and in some strange way, his leaving Test cricket is something like me leaving my college... In that moment, I could relate to him and everything else was water under the bridge... I really hope he remains a fierce competitor in the shorter formats...

The other person I wanted to write about is Ponting... Now I have seen people who are graceful in victory and defeat and those who are not in either... There also exists a breed who are good winners but rather sour losers... Ponting by far is the strangest... His wins were arrogant, the almost victories a blame-game. But such poise and dignity in the wake of losing the Ashes... Either he has learnt his lessons or he could not find any UFOs to blame, having already blamed everything under the sun... I almost felt I supported the wrong team... But I don't trust the Aussies... They will turn their arrogant selves again once they start winning... So I hope they never really get back to winning even though they deserve to...

The other news

The newspapers have been reporting on 2 national issues a lot lately, 'the' flu and the feud between the Ambani brothers. While the flu has been hogging all the lime, green and litmus light on the front page, the latter has been causing occassional ripples in the quiet backwaters of the editorials. While reports on the former mainly tell us of2 numbers escalating daily(deaths and positive cases), the latter too talk about 2 numbers, albeit constant for the time being.

Let me dwell in to the numbers for a bit. The flu had infected upwards of 1,77,000 and claimed 1.260 deaths globally before announcing its grand entry in India. I need not tell you how the numbers stand in front of other, more pressing and resistant diseases. On the other hand, Anil is raising hell over an extra $2 which Mukesh is demanding. It might be mentioned that NTPC too shall be required to pay that extra $2 to Mukesh. Precisely the things the editorial-writing-intellectuals will discuss while the country is going to the pigs. I'll rephrase: Should they not be talking more about it, rather than the occassional ple.a to the media to not hype up the issue in the midst of the very newspapers whose headlines scream out a higher number everyday?

The irony is not lost on me, but neither is common sense. Although I might as well be the next in this line but what are the odds ( A supposed-to-be-responsible-but-loosely-wagging-tounge claimed 1/3 but I don't believe him). What should be of greater or at least equal concern is the Ambani feud. The judgement is bound to affect me.

The Ambanis have always been been known to make hay by stealing others' sunshine and that's what big brother does, claiming that the new quoted prices are closer to global prices. He has found a sympathatic ally in Mr. Deora, the concerned minister and the late Dhirubhai's friend. The point to note is that NTPC is itself fighting a case over the same issue with RIL, its parent ministry is all too happy to dole out the extra 2 dollars. Now Anil will still have his formerly hot wife but NTPC will shove deep down in to my pocket, denying me something worth the extra money it took. So please people try to form a public opinion on this. It might claim more lives than the flu. You know about the effect of inflated gas prices on, oh yes, inflation.

Now since this is my blog and I wish to keep writing, I will. This case is being keenly watched by invetors. They want to see if India can be trusted as a land with strong laws running everything more than body fluids running down street lamps/walls/trees or contracts interpretation is subject to change along with ministers. I am no lawyer but I am sure there were clauses against losses in the gas contract and since they are not evoked have a good reason to believe it still being profitable for Mukesh. In that scenario I don't see why should there be even a case unless the contract was signed on a Telgi supplied stamp paper.

Before this week I thought of our health minister as a brave and intelligent man to have issued statements regarding birth control which might have sparked a backlash considering that he's a muslim. My opinion has now changed due to the bracketed statement above. Mr. Deora, well I never really thought about him and don't think I will.

Bizzare Bihanis

My dad, though, stumped me with the 'other perspective'. He says, "Mukesh sabzi sasti bech raha hai, kahin to balance sheet barabar karega na."

Update: The govt. released a statement which I could not fully comprehend but I think it meant that it's steering clear of the feud. Who makes a better bid in the court however, remains to be seen.

The Flu Trail

People world over are forming potentially fatal queues. They go for a check even if they have a 1% doubt that they are infected and even if one person is infected in the 100-strong queue, the chances of getting infected shoot up to 90%. That's a 90 times jump. You are probably better off sitting at home than queuing up for a check. Why has this stupidity not caught the eyes of ANY administration is beyond me. Or let's just call it an abberation to my otherwise not so smart observations.

Talk about living dangerously

Sports and Psychology

I had been reading about Mike Brearly recently. For the ignorant souls, he was an English cricket captain and was in the team only because of his captaincy. His batting average was a mere 24 and he never scored a century at the international level. Even then, he never lost a single test as a captain.

Apparently, he knew how to get the best out of his players and could always tell whether someone needed a kind word or a kick in the ass. On further reading, I found out that he, in fact, did have a degree in psychology. It is clear that his man management skills were reason enough for the selectors to pick him, despite his record. The man always attributed his success to his education.

While reading all that, an idea struck. Why not teach players, specially the ones projected as future captains, basics of psychology. I don't mean a rigorous, degree-seeking program but I'm sure a Psychology101 can't do any harm.

Think about it. A player like Brearly, who hardly ever could lead by example, engineered such a turnaround in Botham's form halfway in to a series which is now known as Botham's Ashes. If he could be that successful, I'm sure it can lift a Dhoni's or aPonting's performance by a few notches.

As I write, I no realise it might be a better idea to leave the players alone and coach a coach. That way you need not ruin a natural like Sehwag and at the same time, could save a Shaun Tait from a mental fatigue so early in his career.

This can of course be applied to other sports too.

Narcicist Narmad

Bhalla: Abe jaldi roll kar

PD: Main slow hun yaar

The Land of Contradictions

"The problem with IIT is that it's governed by non-IITians." I spent a week at my alma-mater on the pretext of convocation which was 4 hours long. Although so boring, that everyone except for those on the stage dozed off at least once. That was when my idle mind started thinking on these lines. I had indeed spent 4 years in a land of contradictions.

• The Chief guest, an economist on first-name terms with our PM, spoke about why India should not have a Nuclear bomb, while the fuction was chaired by one of the pioneers of India's nuclear tests.
  
  
• The Profs keep harping about the effect of 24-hour internet access and have cut it down, while the extremely disturbing and distracting extension work in hostels begins right after students come back from a 3-months break.
  
  
• We inaugrate a state-of-the-art indoor stadium and build a manhole bang in the middle of a playground.
  
  
• We pride ourselves on being the brightest and yet are burdened with 49% of those who ain't exactly that.
  
  
• In this Institute of Technology, the most sought after minor is management and job is consultancy.
  
  

I could go on and on but I'm sleepy...

My Dear Readers

I thought I shall write about my friends in IIT. It isn't because I'm feeling particularly nostalgic, it's just that I am too jobless and sleepless. As I think of the people I want to mention, it seems so useless to mention them too, thanks to their expected responses. And having lived with them for those 4 bloody eventful (not fruitful, eventful) years I can bet my life on them living up to my expectations. So here are those responses:

• Satyan 'achaar' Chaudhary: "Just another supercilious blog. You see, the problem is that you are not a Jat and blah, blah, blah..." Oh, he won't read the blog btw.
  
  
• Sajal 'ip' Gothi: "Itna lambaaaa... kaise padhunga main." He's the only one who won't read it and do so honestly.
  
  
• Sameer "Bhalla" Singh: He will read it but will take that shameful secret to his grave.
  
  
• Achal "Item" Jain: Would have read it even before I'd ask him to and when I'll ask for his response (yes, I extract that out of people) his reply won't be longer than 2 words. The latter being a noun (good, bad, crappy) and the 1st one being "was".
  
  
• Karan "BJ" Syal: Will comment on it, invariably linking it to girls, with a reason-defying logic. I will then have to delete the comment as keeping it on my blog is embarrassing.
  
  
• Manish "waggy/DKG/Kaduwa/..." Sharma: Will declare the blog racist and then blame excesive intake of 'chai' for my error in judgement, much to the anguish of us tea-lovers.
  
  
• Nelson "Nelson" Veda...something: Will come up with the worst of PJs about it and crack them as soon as I ping him. "An eye for an eye" at its best.
  
  
• Pratik "Punchar" Gupta: Will always read it and throw in his two cents as he believes in 'doing unto others...'. (Why he doesn't spell punchar as Puncture remains a mystery to me).
  
  
• Anish "KG" Bangia: Will do the same as puncture, but with altruist intentions.
  
  
• Pratyusha "Granny, is it?" Mogalisetti: Will read it seriously. Period.
  
  
• Others: Won't even read the entries I consider my favorites, but will shower praises on the ones that I think stink. Reminds me of my trips to stores with my mom to buy a shirt.
  

P.S.: Following up the last post, the Aussies, to my delight, lost the 2nd test. It was heartwarming to watch Freddy Flintoff run in and bowl a 9th over equally hostile as his first. Not that I particularly like that 6'4" frame of his, it's just that I hate the Aussies more.

Ricky Ponting ko gussa kyun aata hai?

Mr. Ponting is fuming, behaving like a child whose candy has been snatched away. The frown which almost always accompanies him when touring India made an aberration and paid him a visit at Cardiff. Incidentally, the cause of the frustration was a spinner Sardar this time too, albeit with the bat.

In the post-match conference, Ponting blasted England's time delaying tactics, which included changing gloves, calling the physio and causing rain on the 4th day. He stated that apart from the rain, it was pretty 'ordinary stuff'. On further coaxing, he revealed that he won't report the incident as he felt that ICC should first take care of similar but bigger issues like the 'time delaying tactics' adopted by Indian govt. officials while constructing a bridge or a road.

He also publicly requested Arjun Singh to officiate in the next match as he was convinced the move will help hm squeeze in many more overs in the given time. It is believed that Lalit Modi was also in contention but Mr. Arjun Singh's ability to squeeze in 127 in the space of 100, combined with his 24x7 availability, since being dumped unceremoniously from the cabinet worked in his favour. Mr. Modi did not help his case by suggesting to squeeze in therapeutic breaks every 10 overs, where it would be mandatory for physios to tend to players, which seems to have left Mr. Ponting fuming.

When the conversation veered to 'spirit of the game', an over zealous reporter reminded him of the Indian tour when he and his mates ignored a pre-series agreement between the two sides and resorted to sledging, ultimately resulting in the Monkeygate scandal. Mr. Ponting responded graciously by explaining the terms of the agreement, but only after pointing out that the question was 'against the spirit of journalism'. Apparently, claiming grassed catches, prompting an umpiring decision or calling your opponents bastards was all well within the agreement. The only act excluded was calling someone a monkey. (weird country though, where calling someone a bastard is OK but monkey can wreak havoc.)

He went on (& on & on) to mourn the unfair treatment meted out to him every time he tours England or India. Since they can't win fair n' square, the English either put in a specialist fielder as a sub ('05 Ashes) or resort to time-delaying tactics. The Indians on the other hand, bring on Bhajji to bowl to him.

Just when yours truly was getting iffy with his rants, he signed off by warning England to behave themselves and start losing or else, the Aussies will fall back on a simple philosophy they have been using against the Indians. 'If you can't beat 'em on-field, beat 'em off it.'

Bizarre Bihanis

Dad (While watching one of those Hindi movies award shows): So many people from Bollywood are here. If someone bombs this place down, imagine how many newcomers will get a livelihood.

An office down south

A self-portrait with a story...
The story being how I would look like if I were to go to an office which were 10 kms directly south from home.* (conditions apply)

*I walk both ways and without any protection against the sun...

Bizarre Bihanis

Mom: Beta... I accept, even when i dont understand everything in ( oh one of those) K-serials... I just don't understand how can they show people entering temples with chappals...

Professions & Alcohol

Every time I meet friends of friends I am invited to a sleep over and a round of booze preceding that... When I try to dodge it, they claim that IITians are guzzlers and that me skipping a chance to get sloshed is a puzzler... It is also widely accepted that engineers consume more alcohol than any other undergrad community... I shall go as far as claiming that doctors and dentists (if you please) are the next biggest consumer group for Dr. Mallya's flagship products... It goes so on and so forth...

Do I find a correlation between liqueur consumption and profession??? Actually I do:

As long as there are enough left to let you think straight, a person's liqueur consumption is directly proportional to the amount of grey cells he/she can afford to lose...

Oh yes.. I cut out the 'she' because they don't have a limit. The more they lose it, the more we love them...

The Old Man & The Elephant

It's finally over..

Part 1

Once their lived a king,
as whimsical as... well, a king.
he had an elephant pet..
the animal would never trumpet...

a reward was declared for the one,
who could set off jumbo's siren...
Hordes of men tried their luck,
but gold was not to be struck...

Then appeared an old man,
with a limp in leg and staff in hand...
He hobbled around the elephant thrice,
and finally stood near his rear side...

All of a sudden he made his move,
sticking the staff up jumbo's groove
The elephant screamed like never before
and the old man left with riches galore

Part 2

An year had passed,
since the old man triumphed..
King's whims were at their best,
At the center of them, again, was the poor pet...

The task looked straightforward,
Just make him nod and shake his head...
Hordes of men again tried their luck,
but gold was still not to be struck...

Then appeared the same, old old man,
with a limp in leg and staff in hand...
He hobbled around the elephant thrice,
and this time, stood within his sight...

He then asked in jumbo's ears if he recalled...
The poor elephant responded with a nod...
He then asked 'Do u want more of the pain'?
The head shook and our old man won again...

BT Brutes:

Sass: Quit smoking daaa... I'm against the anti-tobacco drive

Doctors & Chemists

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Go here.

INTRODUCTION

In today's world, buying medicines from a prescription slip is like delivering a steganographic letter. Even if you try to decipher it, you cant make out a single word. The best idea is to just hand it over to the chemist who knows the code and is the only guy who can crack it.

HISTORY

There have been incidents in history where an ignorant messenger has carried a letter containing the order for his own impalement. Times have changed. These days, a doctor's prescription can only instruct the chemist to screw the patient monetarily and that too should be only as much as he can bear and can come again for another round.

SPECULATIONS

We found that its quite possible that a doctor has struck a deal with the chemist... "I handle the complicated stuff and for the common stuff, I'll just send you a diagnosis in cryptic, and you give a medication you prefer, since it's too much for me to remember the remedy to all the diseases." The parallel to this phenomenon can be found in any college where two guys decide to cheat in an exam and either one crams up half the portion.

SUGGESTIONS/ALTERNATE PROFESSIONS

A doctor and the chemist who owns the shop just outside the clinic can be hired for secret services as a doctor written letter can only be cracked by the chemist so this is as good a message delivery system as any.

Doctors are our best shot at finding a cure for Alzheimers too. The obvious reason being that they are, after all, doctors. Another reason is that their handwriting can form the lowest level of comprehensible jots while creating a database. Get it? They are the threshold which separates Amitji (respect warranted) in Black and my thesis guide, making sense of whose scribblings consumed half the time I had allocated to my BTP (which was about 5 days, give or take 1), and who inspired me to carry out this extra curricular research work.

Ya.. I knwo teh lsat wrod in teh prveoius praa was mis-splet but taths dyslexia, not Alzheimer's...

RECOMMENDATION

On a serious note, I recommend that it be made mandatory for Doctor's to start using a notepad with grids and write one letter in each cell. I have seen a doctor doing that and it works.

REFERENCE

A few prescription slips.

The Ex

I know we have split...
I know we are over..
Had to happen one day...
It couldn't last forever...

Some time it will take,
to move on I thought...
Was I stupid but,
having not another one sought???

While I was reminiscing,
and thinking you felt the same way,
You were looking at a new sunshine
and were busy making some hay...

Did it take much to replace me?
or just a heartbeat and a blink???
Do you ever think of me,
when you are with him???

Another lesson that life has taught,
another lesson that I have learned...
Never promise exclusivity there,
never in a cup of tea, get your heart burnt..


Prologue: Achal a.k.a. Item found a new tea partner, after going steady with me for over 2 years... Understandably, I'm heart-broken...

Time to leave..

It's time to leave
This ain't a summer-break..
I am an engineer now,
an IIT Madras make..

No more profs,
no more classes,
No morelit-soc,
or scroeter clashes...

Nobody will be a macha
Nor will anyone be maroing pain
Arbit stuff shall now have order,
but I won't be known by my nickname...

Will be online always,
there wont be an internet ban...
but won't watch any sitcoms,
u see, there's no LAN...

No longer a cycle, bus,
or a long distance walk...
No KG, Tarams or Vels
no more a tea in the haze of smoke...

It's time to leave,
and time to say adieu,
it's sad, but thank God,
We'll have better girls to woo...

Viva

So... I am an engineer now.. well.. hopefully... gotta wait till tomorrow to know for sure...
I submitted my thesis and went through the viva which went surprisingly well... I intended to reminisce about my days here but now i figure i have already done that in my blog.. So what do i write about???

I pulled off a real fast one... perhaps the fastest one this year... less said, the better..
My thesis/report??? full of typos and other mistakes.. if i remember correctly, even the values dont match up and the code has a mistake too...

My room seems to be burying under dirt and dust for the last one month and my resolve to hasten the process only gets harder as final goodbye approaches...

I'm hooked to hitman these days..lets see how long it lasts...

Next mission... job hunt...

and oh... i also need to write the concluding part of this poem. hang on people, it will come and i can assure u its not worth the wait.. as if anything ever is...

Its time now i guess... time to grow up and start talking bout serious stuff when u dont have time to discuss the little intricacies of life... where u will be too busy to wonder why should a cricket team not have a kung fu fighter as the 12th man and make him field often. A school of thought says that they would raise the bar higher. This comes from a man who is himself an expert at kung fu movies and has spent majority of his time here downloading them and for me, his views on the subject are final...

Anyway.. its time to hit a general...
so long.. n thanks for all that was fishy...

Acknowledgement

I would like to express my gratitude to all those who helped me to complete this project successfully. Firstly, I want to thank my guide Dr. R.S. Verma for trusting me with this project. It is his unique approach of guidance that helped me in finishing this work successfully. At every stage in the project, he was always there to help and guide me through it.

I would like to extend my gratitude towards our HOD, Dr. K.B. Ramachandran for his flexible and understanding approach towards the students. I am grateful to the entire faculty of the department and otherwise, under whom I had the privilege to study and learn during the past 4 years.

At this moment I would like to thank the 'BT Gumbal', Achal, Deepak, Ujwal and the rest who helped me with my academics and were always willing for a round of tea at the most unlikely hours, an experience I am unlikely to forget.

A note of thanks is also warranted for Satyan, Sajal and many more friends, seniors and juniors in my hostel who stood by me through thick and thin for 4 years, and supported me immensely through the course of this project. I would also remember the fun times and the meals at nocturnal hours with Pratik, Anshul, Saurabh and Ravi while I worked on the project.

I am also obliged to Piyush, Kanishk, Shivangi, Rachit, Suhani, Swapnil and Himanshu for being my support outside these walls and keeping me calm and compose during difficult times.

I am deeply indebted to my family for being patient with me, for their unflinching faith and encouragement during the hard times and their support during the good ones.

Last but not the least, I pray to the Almighty to be as forgiving and caring for me as it has been for all these years.

ASHUTOSH BIHANI
BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGY
IIT MADRAS
CHENNAI

and now a joke that was cracked a long time back:

Someone: We had a surprise quiz today

Me: how was it?

Someone: well, it surprised me...

A letter to Nandita

Dear Nandita,

Let me begin by saying that I have been a fan of your work ever since I watched 1947 Earth. Your performance was stunning and has been so in all the movies you have acted in. You bring a certain 'believability' to your character and they are amazingly easy to relate to.

Your direction brought out the same in each frame and riding on the formidable cast, every scene seemed,oh so real. The thing that actually disturbs me was the subject and its treatment.

What happened was horrible and there's no denying that. But it also seems to be a safe bet for debut, given your CV. Who wouldn't expect you to make a sensitive movie about the wrongs of our society. But should it really have been the topic? It happened long back and honestly,insensitive as it might sound, I don't want to be reminded of that.

I had hoped that you would deliver a certain 'other perspective'. But there was none. It was just about the cruelty on the Muslims and the way they coped with them.
I do agree that the portrayal is startling. Specially the scene where a nonchalant Paresh Rawal asked his brother if he enjoyed raping women and they both chuckle. Also the last scene where a 'aam hindu' just kills an unsuspecting man running away from the police by dropping a huge slab on him.

All through this, some questions beg to be asked. Why is Sanjay Suri's friend so insensitive? Why is Nasser ignorant of the happenings while his man friday is continuously bickering and nagging? Above all, how did you forget to even make a fleeting reference to Mr. Modi and the Bhagva Brigade who we all hold responsible?

I think I have all the answers. What was shown completes the movie, arousing exactly the reactions from viewers you intended to. And if you had openly stated anyone as the culprit, the movie would have been in for a controversy which you surely did not want. You also might have lost revenues since the movie wouldn't be played in any part of Gujrat then.

To me it was a movie made only to draw tears and anguish and in that sense, I interpret it as a 'thinking man's K-serial. I so wish it were better than this. I so wish it had shown some stories which also had good people and was more than a depressing movie about the plight of a certain community. If you really were making a movie about real events, then why not one on the Mumbai blasts or 9/11 or the way muslims suffer due to a handful of Jehadis? Why did you not portray any character which could remind of us Oscar Schindler, which could give us hope?

But you played your cards well. No critic even dare pan a movie which has you in the director's seat and when the cast includes Paresh Rawal, Naseer, Deepti Naval and even Lillette Dubey because these are the people who have been keeping cinema in touch with reality for decades now. To me it was a great piece of work but mediocre by your standards.

yours sincerely,
Ashutosh Bihani

Update: she replied... although it was only 2 statements n said something like u r free to have ur views...

Railway station

Today i realised that I am most relaxed and perhaps happiest at a railway station.. Lost in a sea of people, everyone judging you by your clothes, luggage, looks, accent n ticket but you don't care.. Through The uncertainty of getting on the wrong train or missing one, i am always sure of reaching my destination, sometimes in general compartment, sometimes talking it through with the tte n at a few other times letting money do the talking. The latter has been rare as initially i was careful to get a ticket and lately i just dont bother to carry enough.. I have never been a chatty guy so the journey in itself gives me time to ponder, to let my thoughts run with the only interruption being the frequent cups of tea.. Amazing experience this, on a train, without a ticket and less than sufficient cash.. What's more, i neither have my uncle's address nor my atm card.. My dad will frown if he comes to know.. Good luck to me..

Written on my way to Nagpur...

The Democracy that India is

As the assembly elections commence, I think about the past rulers of India and the vibrant democracy that India is.

It was centuries ago that the idea of a united India originated. Going by Hindu mythology, it was perhaps Ram who spread his rule over India with his Ashvamedh Yagya. That wasn’t so much of an empire as the respective kings only had to accept his supremacy but were free to rule their own kingdoms, but he was the only one to have had influence over the Deccan which would be left out until the British arrived.

The Mahabharat has references to almost all of India barring the South, where it only extends up to the Vindhyas. Although it was called Aryvarta but had a lot of independent and powerful kings. Then came the age of documented history where north India was united quite a few times under the Mauryas, Guptas and Asoka.

It was just before the Mauryan era that the Alexander dreamt to conquer the world and almost succeeded, leaving out only India. At this time a new ideology was coming to stage, propagated by a visionary called Chanakya, mentor to the great Chandragupta. It was this idea that has now become the hallmark of a free society. It is this idea that makes India different from its neighbours. It is this idea that has kept us safe from dictatorship. We call it democracy. Thank God that Chanakya happened.

After years of stagnation, we developed another quality; to revel in the past. I’m no expert but I believe it was during the period just before the Muslim attacks when it happened. The society was rotting, the caste system became oppressive and we were lagging behind the world on all the fronts. May be it was then that we started marveling our past because our present was grim and future looked bleak and the only way to feel good was to look at the sun that had risen long back.

The Muslims came with the sole purpose of looting our wealth and taking it back to their native lands. After a few such invaders, history made an exception and did not repeat itself as the Mughals arrived and decided to stay. Akbar ruled and knitted together an empire from an artwork that had been torn to pieces over the centuries. It was under Aurangzeb that the boundaries of Hindustan came closest to modern day India. He even tried to conquer the Deccan, spending the last 20 year of his life there but it proved to be a wild goose chase.

Then came the British who actually made the present day boundaries but eventually left splitting it up in two. They also reintroduced us to democracy, an idea that had been lost in the sands of time.

Since they left, we have always chosen our leaders, unlike most of our neighbours. It is perhaps this mindset that has kept us in a better state than the rest. Two years back an sms was doing the rounds stating that in a Hindu dominated nation, we have a Muslim president, a Sikh prime minister and the leader of the ruling coalition was born a Christian, a foreign one at that.

I just love the vibrant and sometimes foolish Indian democracy where we can’t seem to generate a consensus anymore and sometimes 3 MPs are enough to get you a Cabinet berth through a post-poll deal but it’s still better than having Taliban a mere 100 kms away from our capital. For that, I salute Chanakya as I believe that he seeded the concept of democracy in our culture and conscience.

Aarambh

aarambh hai prachand
bole mastakon ke jhund
aaj jang ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do
aan baan shaan ya ki jaan ka ho daan
aaj ik dhanush ke baan pe utaar do

aarambh hai prachand
bole mastakon ke jhund
aaj jang ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do
aan baan shaan yaa ki jaan kaa ho daan
aaj ik dhanush ke baan pe utaar do
aarambh hai prachand

man kare so praan de
jo man kare so praan le
wahi to ek sarvshaktimaan hai
man kare so praan de
jo man kare so praan le
wahi to ek sarvashaktimaan hai

krishna ki pukaar hai
ye bhagwat ka saar hai
ki yudh hi to veer ka pramaan hai
kaurvon ki bheed ho ya
paandavon ka need ho
jo lad saka hai wohi to mahaan hai

jeet ki hawas nahi
kisi pe koi vash nahi
kya zindagi hai thokaron pe maar do
maut ant hai nahi
to maut se bhi kyun dare
ye jaake aasmaan mein dahaad do

aarambh hai prachand
bole mastakon ke jhund
aaj jang ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do
aan baan shaan ya ki jaan ka ho daan
aaj ik dhanush ke baan pe utaar do
aarambh hai prachand

ho daya ka bhaav
ya ki shaurya ka chunav
ya ki haar ka wo ghaav
tum ye soch lo
ho daya ka bhaav
ya ki shaurya ka chunav
ya ki haar ka wo ghaav
tum ye soch lo

ya ki poore bhaal par
jala rahe vijay ka
laal laal ye gulaal
tum ye soch lo

rang kesari ho ya
mridang kesari ho ya
ki kesari ho taal
tum ye soch lo

jis kavi ki kalpana mein
zindagi ho prem geet
us kavi ko aaj tum nakaar do
bheegati nason mein aaj
phoolati ragon mein aaj
aag ki lapat ka tum baghaar do

aarambh hai prachand


Best lyrics in a long time. Wish it were a poem in school books.

Aaj Fir

aaj fir roshan hua chand...
aaj fir chandni mein jalna hoga...
aaj fir uthega dhuan..
aaj fir zakhmon ko sulagna hoga!!!

Narcissist Narmad

KJ: Didi Korea se aa rahin hain.. kuch mangana hai?

Sweetcarbine: 1-2 Chinki la sakti hain?

The dreaded question

Tell me some thing about yourself....

Huh? What?

Ashutosh... ganganagar... mayo college... trumpet... IITM... trumpet... hockey... shaastra... saarang... JYW... Bangalore... friends... short tempered... shy... piscean... memories.. future plans... parents... 234... 492... 06/03...09/03... 9884... oman...

Who am I?

Introspection

Introspection... that's something every religion endorses, every philosopher preaches and every man looks for. It ain't easy to be honest to yourself no matter how much we'd like to believe otherwise. More than honesty or truthfulness, I believe, it needs courage to face yourself, to be unbiased. It is supposed to do you and the people around you some good.

It so happened that a good friend recently decided to do the same. This certainly was a situation. He'd know think what he's doing, right , wrong etc. The problem as I saw it was, the changes it may bring in him and since 'no man is an island', the changes it'll bring unto us. I feel that your friends accept it the way you are and even when there are traits the express a disliking for, they do not want you to change one bit, for the better or worse. At least not in the 4th year of your engineering, when you know that this is the last sem and you can afford to be careless. Mostly because many of the obviously wrong habits are enjoyed the most. For instance: boozing, fagging, gaming etc.

Hence, my request to my good friend is to not be introspective at this juncture. The 11th hour is long gone.

Can he Run?

He always said he chooses not to..
'bhaagna hi hota to olympics mein nahin hote?'

That's some food for thought.

In the past 3 and half years, I have seen him grow, horizontally. His belly has now become his trademark, his X- factor. If we had symbols for election contestants, his would have been his tyre.

Meanwhile, he also bought a bike and spoilt us too. I don't go out of institute if his bike is not available.Needless to say, the bike added more weight around his waist but took away equivalent from his pockets (ours too).

I still thought he is just lazy as all of us, to run. It wasn't so. I discovered that just a few days back.

It happened when four of us were walking back to hostel from main gate. We spotted a cycle, and nobody was around. Something should be done about it. You can't just let a poor cycle stand all alone and walk away. The cycle should be pulled out of boredom. Maybe we could arrange for some company.

Intuition said it would like a tree's company. Hence it was decided. We took it upon ourself to unite it with one. As we lifted the cycle to place it in the loving branches of the tree, we saw a shadow emerging from the stadium. 'Oye' he shouted, the common exclamation for all moods but we had little doubt about his state of mind.

As I scurried away, I could see a sprinter eager to break Bolt's record and a hulk following him. I looked back and saw our man still contemplating the benchmark evolutionary response, 'fight or flee with the tummy of a lady whose baby has been due for an year now'. I threw some expletives at him, which motivated him to cover 50 metres at a pace, marginally quicker than usual. Fortunately, the owner was more interested in tending to his cycle than hitting the punching bag.

BT Brutes

Panda writes on board: (Rg) V

Gochi: (Rg) V ki aag

Nelson: (Rg) V ki Laag = Log(RGV)

Breaks' Children

When I used to get home after carrying my dad's briefcase all day long, my mother understandably would spend some time with me. If I tried to sneak away, I'd be called back on the pretext of making a million dollar business decision or drinking milk. Bottomline was that I had to sit for an hour with my mother every night.

After that, I'm sure it's the same with a lot of youngsters like me. Moms wants us to spend time them. But, at the same time, but little do we know that we are actually competing for her attention in a losing battle. How's the winner? Simple: Ekta kapoor. So we used to talk only when the field was clear, i.e., during a commercial break. But the soaps are to my mom like a body possessed by possessive soul, even though you can't see it, you know it controls the head. And that's how our conversations went:

Mom: How's college

Me: good

Mom: is that why u dont talk to us these often, so happy with ur life?

Me: ummm...errr...

Mom: sshhhhhhh.....
TV: 'vo tumhari nahin karan ki biwi hai. Jab bus ko aag lagi tab vo zinda bach gayi thi aur fir usne plastic surgery karva li.

3 close-ups and a break

Mom: how's college

Me: bad

Mom: is that why u have turned so silent these days? u dont even talk properly when i call

Me: err.. umm...

Mom: ssshhhhhh........

TV: Blah blah blah


Narcissist Narmad

Sweetcarbine: Girls having periods just shows how big a sadist god is.

P.S.: A friend of mine is actually convinced that his cessarian was scheduled during a break.